Jealousy might be a negative emotion but it is also a very humane one. We are all born with it and it is not something you can get rid of, it’s very much a part of ourselves like any other emotion such as happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, disappointment, etc.
In today’s post, I wanted to explore the idea of jealousy & its root and whether it’s a dysfunctional trait which reduces your potential or a motivational one which allows you to better yourself. As always, if you’re interested – keep on reading!
La jalousie est certes une émotion négative, mais elle est aussi profondément humaine. Nous naissons tous avec elle et il est impossible de s’en débarrasser. Elle fait partie intégrante de nous-mêmes, au même titre que la joie, la tristesse, la colère, l’excitation, la déception, etc.
Dans cet article, je souhaite explorer la notion de jalousie, ses origines et me demander s’il s’agit d’un trait de caractère dysfonctionnel qui limite notre potentiel ou, au contraire, d’une force motrice qui nous permet de nous améliorer. Comme toujours, si le sujet vous intéresse, poursuivez votre lecture !
You might also like:
- Is Patience an Asset Or a Curse?
- Why Changing Your Mindset Is Important.
- Finding the Right Person: a Possibility or a Rarity?
A GAME OF COMPARISON
It’s fair to say that jealousy evokes this feeling of insecurity and inept within ourselves which is the reason why many people always say not to let this emotion overwhelm or overpower you to the point you are swallowed up by it. With that said, there is another side of jealousy which is not often talked about.
You have one side that compares yourself with this person and makes you feel inferior to them, whereas you have the other side that compares yourself with this other party and makes you feel superior to them. You could say that the former gives you the opportunity to grow, change or better yourself whilst the latter gives you an ego boost and makes you feel better about yourself.
Related: Unlearning The Idea Of Comparing Yourself With Others.
THE ROOT OF JEALOUSY
As I mentioned above, jealousy is an emotion we are born with. It creates this unfair comparison or shall I say competition with another person in order to make us feel better about ourselves or in order to wish we receive the same thing as them. However, the harsh truth is, you don’t really know all the aspects of the situation, relationship, object, achievement, personality or physical appearance of the person you are comparing yourself with—you only see and know one layer or aspect of it.
Related: Longing For a Place That Doesn’t Exist?
THE WAY WE PROCESS JEALOUSY
This is something you might have probably guessed but I firmly believe that the way we process jealousy will either turn it into a poisonous or innocuous trait. It’s completely normal to feel jealousy but it’s the way you act on it that makes the biggest difference.
For instance, if you use it as a tool to gain or be in the same position as the person you’re comparing yourself with then as long as it’s something that you truly want or wish for then there is nothing wrong with it.
On the other hand, if you have malicious intentions behind this emotion then sooner rather than later it’s going to fester and rot away all the blessings, gifts and opportunities you have in your life and you will constantly be chasing after something, never feeling fulfilled or content at all.
But obviously, these aren’t the only ways to process this emotion regardless whether they are healthy or not. You could very well ignore it when it rises if you are self-aware and are content within yourself. The opposite could happen as well and you could be constantly paying attention to it in order to reassure and feel better about yourself. At the end, you have to recognise the root as to why you feel this emotion regarding certain situations and the way you process it later on will determine what this trait is to you.
Related: Sustaining The Joys in Your Life.
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
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New Lune 
I’m fascinated by jealousy. When I was a kid, my parents didn’t have a lot of financial wealth. Going without pushed me to work hard and get an education. At the same time, though, I’ve had to keep jealousy in check. As you say, it needs balance. When kept in moderation, it’s a driver. When it takes over your thoughts, it becomes a problem. I’ve been helped by constantly reminding myself that I’ll never know everything that’s going on in other’s lives. Someone else may look like they have it altogether. And it may be a mirage. The key is keeping perspective. Interesting post New Lune!