Have you ever been in a position where you want to distance yourself from someone but logistically can’t due to politeness, a loved one or even due to a fear of confrontation? It’s not necessarily because that person is a loved one but more so due to the fact that you need to have an amicable relationship with this individual.
Obviously, you should distance yourself from any dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship but how do you navigate a relationship that is not really a relationship in the first place? For instance, an acquaintance, a relative, a co-worker, a friend’s friend—people who you see only on rare occasions due to circumstances but can’t wait to get away from them.
In today’s post, I wanted to share with you some ways on how to establish distance with another person. It’s worth mentioning that you don’t only need to have a dysfunctional or unhealthy relationship with another party in order to distance yourself from them, if you feel any sort of discomfort or lack of joy or peace with this person then it is a good enough of a reason to add space from them instead of building misconstrued hatred, sadness, jealousy, resentment and anger towards them or your own self.
Vous est-il déjà arrivé de vouloir prendre vos distances avec quelqu’un, mais de ne pas pouvoir le faire par politesse, par égard pour un proche, ou même par crainte d’une confrontation ? Ce n’est pas forcément parce que cette personne est un proche, mais plutôt parce que vous tenez à maintenir une relation cordiale avec elle.
Bien sûr, il est important de se distancer de toute relation dysfonctionnelle ou toxique, mais comment gérer une relation qui n’en est pas vraiment une ? Par exemple, une simple connaissance, un membre de la famille, un collègue, un ami d’un ami… des personnes que vous ne voyez que rarement, mais dont vous avez hâte de vous éloigner.
Dans cet article, je souhaite partager avec vous quelques pistes pour prendre vos distances avec une autre personne. Il est important de préciser qu’il n’est pas nécessaire d’entretenir une relation dysfonctionnelle ou malsaine avec une autre personne pour prendre ses distances. Si vous ressentez un quelconque malaise, un manque de joie ou de paix en sa présence, c’est une raison suffisante pour créer une distance, plutôt que de nourrir des sentiments injustifiés de haine, de tristesse, de jalousie, de ressentiment ou de colère envers elle ou envers vous-même.
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ESTABLISHING CLEAR BOUNDARIES
If you are at a point where you absolutely need to add distance from this specific person then there isn’t any other choice than to establish clear and firm boundaries with this person. It’s not necessarily about confronting this person but more so about establishing where you stand with them and where they stand with you.
For example, if they say a joke that you don’t find it to be funny then don’t force yourself to laugh at it, this will just give them a reason to think that you will put up with anything they do even if that action or behaviour would result in you restricting yourself. Small actions do show where you stand but also what type of behaviour you allow within your vicinity.
Related: 3 Ways To Create Healthy Boundaries.
CREATING THE DISTANCE BOTH LITERALLY & FIGURATIVELY
If you want to establish distance then you have to do it in a both literal and figurative manner. You could avoid spending time with this person—whether it’s by yourself or with a group of people—by quietly removing yourself from that circle or by simply sharing an excuse. You can’t create distance by still allowing yourself to spend your time, energy and effort with that person.
Related: Identifying if You Are The Problem.
FOCUSING ON YOUR LIFE & JOYS
The best way to establish distance with anyone is by letting time do its job and by focusing on your own joys and happiness to the point these individuals and their actions & words don’t matter to you anymore. I’m a firm believer that you only get to live this life once, don’t waste your precious time on people who bring out the worst in you.
Related: Sustaining The Joys in Your Life.
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
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