A quarter of the year has already passed by (or almost depending on the date I publish this blog post), it feels like time has gone by so quickly while at the same time so many things have happened within a short amount of time.
To be honest, last year was one of the toughest years I went through and I still have a lot of things to process & heal from that year alone so I very much had no thoughts or strong feelings regarding this new year. With that said, I have been thinking about certain things which I wouldn’t necessarily consider to be life lessons but more so realisations of certain things in life and that’s what I wanted to share with you in today’s post.
Once again, these are just my personal subjective thoughts. I wouldn’t consider them to be objective facts so please take everything you read with a grain of salt. This is going to be a very long post as well so please get into a comfortable position before starting haha.
Un quart de l’année s’est déjà écoulé (ou presque, selon la date de publication de cet article). J’ai l’impression que le temps a filé si vite, alors que tant de choses se sont produites en si peu de temps.
Pour être honnête, l’année dernière a été l’une des plus difficiles que j’aie traversées et j’ai encore beaucoup de choses à digérer et à guérir de cette année-là. Je n’avais donc pas vraiment de pensées ni d’émotions fortes concernant cette nouvelle année. Cela dit, j’ai réfléchi à certaines choses que je ne considère pas nécessairement comme des leçons de vie, mais plutôt comme des prises de conscience de certaines choses, et c’est ce que je voulais partager avec vous dans l’article d’aujourd’hui.
Encore une fois, ce ne sont que mes réflexions personnelles et subjectives. Je ne les considère pas comme des faits objectifs. Cet article sera très long, alors installez-vous confortablement avant de commencer !
You might also like:
- 3 Meaningful Intentions to Set This Year.
- 3 Ways to Make Long-Lasting Memories.
- 3 Thoughts That Will Change Your Life.
THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULDN’T JUDGE YOU AND LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE IS ONLY YOURSELF
I would say we all yearn to have that one person who would love, respect and care for us for who we truly are, someone who wouldn’t judge us and still love us unconditionally with our qualities and flaws. This love doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic either, it could be platonic or familial. For instance, this person could be a friend, parent, sibling, child, etc.
But the harsh reality is that there is no such person. Every person you meet & love judges you in some capacity, all of them have expectations – no matter how significant or insignificant they are – towards you almost unconsciously. Some are better at verbalising them compared to others.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying those are inherently bad things. You should expect certain things when you love someone, that’s the only way to build a fulfilling & meaningful relationship & friendship. I’m not saying that there isn’t someone out there who doesn’t judge people nor who doesn’t love their family & friends unconditionally with all their qualities & flaws either. The probability is just very low and for someone to have both of these aspects co-exist with one another is very rare.
You might think that you have that one person in your life who you could always rely on and who would tell you things as they are but they might also have thoughts about yourself which you wouldn’t want to hear or might do things which will end up questioning the validity and integrity of the relationship you have with one another. Love and human relationships are complex and sometimes, it’s not about vilifying that person or yourself – it’s just the way life is.
There is a reason why people say you shouldn’t put your happiness in the hands of another person but I would add not to put your peace either. You can love and trust someone unconditionally but do not blindly love and trust them to the point they can break a part of yourself if their actions & words end up differing to the person who you thought they were.
The only person who wouldn’t judge you and love you for who you are is only yourself, build that relationship with yourself instead of seeking it with others.
Related: A Few Questions You Should Ask Yourself.
YOUR BLOOD & GENETIC MAKEUP ARE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF
I’m pretty sure we have all thought at some point what our purpose is in life or what type of person we are. Questions like who we really are, what makes us ‘us’ and how to reshape or rewrite our path. Do our preferences define ourselves? Do our blessings & hardships indicate the course of our future? There are so many things to contemplate, to be self-aware about and to consider when one thinks about themselves.
However, one doesn’t really think about the things they cannot change or aren’t in control of but makes them the person they are. Our physical features would be one thing, something that is very surface level but which very much makes us ‘us’. However, with the accessibility of cosmetic enhancements and plastic surgery – I don’t think this holds a strong point because you can easily change your physical appearance.
But your family, your flesh and blood, and your genetic makeup – these are things you cannot fundamentally change about yourself but make you who you are as a person.
If you have a dysfunctional or abusive family, this might be something difficult to digest because you don’t want to be associated with these people in any shape or form. You might have distanced yourself from these people and don’t even consider them to be your family but the bitter truth is you are a byproduct of their genetics, environment, actions & words. I do think realising and understanding your root will make you perceive yourself and your life in a different way, it might help you be a bit kinder and lenient towards yourself as well.
Related: 3 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself.
DO NOT GIVE THE POSITION OF THE MAIN CHARACTER IN YOUR LIFE TO ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF
I’m sure we all have felt at our lowest moments being like the side character of someone else’s life or even in our own life, how other people or another person is the protagonist and we are only on the sideline. You could very much be loved and cared for but there is this feeling that others are the main character when you are in their presence.
This isn’t necessarily a case of neglect where people around you don’t pay attention to you or prioritise you (in some cases, it might be) but more so it’s this invisible position/tier you are in, you are an option but not the first or second one but more so the last one. You are a choice but you are not always chosen. You are the person who helps but not really helped unless you voice out it several times. You are a loving friend but you aren’t the best friend.
Sometimes, the position you are in is obvious whereas other times, you might not even realise it yourself. It’s almost like you are a supporting character and other people’s lives are way more significant & important than your own life. Sometimes, this becomes much trickier when those lives are intertwined with yours because they very much are a part of your life therefore it’s easier to think those people’s issues, joys, sadness & worries hold way more importance and priority than yours.
It’s okay to prioritise the people whom you love dearly in your life but as cheesy as it sounds, you are the main character of your life and never give that position to any loved one or stranger. Be empathetic towards them, help them, love them and be a constant presence in their lives but at the end of the day, nurture the relationship you have with yourself, find contentment & joy with others but mainly within yourself.
Every person in your life knows a part of yourself that the other might not know. However, you are the only one who is able to look at yourself and be both objective & subjective regarding every single aspect of yourself. You might figure out things in your life by putting yourself in their shoes but you have to live your own life. They are already the main character of their own life, you don’t have to give up yours.
Related: Handling Major Life Transitions.
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
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New Lune 
That third idea is so powerful. I might just have to do some writing on it.
Please do! It’s such an interesting and complex topic, I wish more people would talk about it because everyone has a different & unique perspective regarding this subject. Thank you so much for reading 😊
I am beginning to plan this post now.
Hi NL 🙂
Imma DL this, so I can read all of it after I get home + kick off my shoes. So far, I only read the intro + headings.
I find “self” to be a puzzling concept. When I inhale some air, does that air become a part of my self? What about when I exhale? Same with food, my environment or whatever. This view (or philosophy) is also very central to much of my thinking. For example, much of the “about” stuff I wrote on the homepage of https://wants.blog is very much influenced by these ideas.
I look forward to reading your post in full detail!
🙂 Norbert
Hi Norbert, take your time reading it since it’s a long one and I do hope you enjoy reading it 😊
These are really good questions to think about and answer. I can definitely see someone answering those questions differently depending on where they are in life at that moment.
As always, thank you so much for reading!
Just this morning I finished watching a JRE interview with a guy named Chris Williamson (#2293) … and I thought the concluding remarks were very insightful. I wrote about it here: https://podcasts.video.blog/2025/03/28/epidemic-of-knowingness — and it just now occurred to me how much this was related to the stuff you’re talking about here.
Oh that sounds intriguing, I will definitely check out both the interview and your post. Thank you for adding the link 😊
That tree is very lovely
It’s so pretty, isn’t it!