differences between dating in your teens vs twenties - new lune

Differences Between Dating In Your Teens vs. Twenties

[AD] I think regardless of your age, dating at any point in your life will be different because we, as an individual constantly change. That includes our preferences, the qualities we look for in a partner, etc. There is absolutely nothing wrong about it! As we get older, we realise that the things we were once used to be attracted aren’t that attractive anymore and vice versa. As l always say, any relationship whether it’s platonic or romantic involves two individuals.

You will have a different experience with different people. You have to take into consideration the other person’s mindset as well, especially when it comes to dating. You need to make sure that you both are on the same page on many different things in order to have a healthy & happy relationship. In today’s post, I wanted to share with you the differences between dating someone in your teens versus twenties.

I personally think both of these age ranges are two polar opposites and completely contrasting to each other. An individual perspective’s who is in their late teens is completely different to an individual who’s in their twenties or mid twenties (of course, there are some exceptions!). You can’t obviously compare the two together but if you are wondering when is the right time to date or any differences you might encounter in your dating life at those ages then this post is definitely for you!

Je pense que quel que soit votre âge, les rencontres à n’importe quel moment de votre vie seront différentes parce que nous, en tant qu’individu, changeons constamment. Cela inclut nos préférences, les qualités que nous recherchons chez un partenaire, etc. Il n’y a absolument rien de mal à cela ! En vieillissant, nous nous rendons compte que les choses que nous étions autrefois attirées ne sont plus si attrayantes et vice versa. Comme je le dis toujours, toute relation, qu’elle soit platonique ou romantique, implique deux individus.

Vous vivrez une expérience différente avec des personnes différentes. Vous devez également prendre en considération l’état d’esprit de l’autre personne, surtout lorsqu’il s’agit de sortir avec quelqu’un. Vous devez vous assurer que vous êtes tous les deux sur la même longueur d’onde sur de nombreuses choses différentes afin d’avoir une relation saine et heureuse. Dans le post d’aujourd’hui, je voulais partager avec vous les différences entre sortir avec quelqu’un dans votre adolescence et dans la vingtaine.

Personnellement, je pense que ces deux tranches d’âge sont deux pôles opposés et contrastent complètement l’une avec l’autre. Le point de vue d’un individu à la fin de son adolescence est complètement différent de celui d’un individu dans la vingtaine ou la mi-vingtaine (bien sûr, il y a quelques exceptions !). Vous ne pouvez évidemment pas comparer les deux ensemble, mais si vous vous demandez quel est le bon moment pour sortir ensemble ou quelles différences vous pourriez rencontrer dans votre vie amoureuse à ces âges, alors cet article est définitivement pour vous !

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THE LEVEL OF COMMITMENT

As I said above, not everyone in their late teens isn’t serious about their relationship and not everyone in their twenties is looking for a serious relationship. It completely depends on each individual’s personality & situation. With that said, you can’t expect someone to be fully committed in a relationship when they are in their late teens as opposed to someone who is in their twenties.

I don’t think everyone who is in their twenties is willing to commit but they at least know the importance of a relationship and the highs & lows that come with it. When you are very young, you might have an unrealistic expectation of what love looks like or even what a relationship truly entails. At the end, you will only end up disappointing yourself and the expectations that you built.

An adult will be much clearer with their thoughts & feelings. They definitely won’t be afraid of commitment because some young people might get scared when you talk about the future. It’s not necessarily about marriage and kids but more about the idea of envisioning a future together. If you know from the get go, you are someone who is willing to be committed then definitely take your time to get into a relationship as most people (especially boys) aren’t willing to be in a serious relationship when they are still young and are having fun.

The same applies when you are getting to know one another, especially now that online dating has been the norm whether it’s through dating apps/websites or even social medias – you can’t really know if someone is really committed to building the relationship they have with you. That’s the reason why most people prefer using dating websites that are located in the same town/city as theirs since you have some sort of reassurance that you will end up meeting the person and form a real connection with them.

Related: Dating Tips During the Quarantine

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE RELATIONSHIP

I think everyone knows the importance and seriousness of a relationship especially when there are feelings involved. Any relationship requires a lot of time, effort and hard work in order to make it work. You can’t have a happy relationship without putting any effort into it. Some people aren’t willing to put that effort regardless of their age that’s the reason why you should look for red flags when you are dating someone.

When you are online dating, you have to be even more careful since some people are only there for pure fun and excitement. As I mentioned previously, that’s the reason why some people aren’t really sure about long distance relationships and prefer using dating apps or websites that are located and based in their city. For instance, if you are looking for a Shropshire dating site then simply search on Google – you will be able to find a lot of websites that are related to Shropshire dating.

While we are on the topic of online dating, there is a reason why people who are in their twenties (or even older than that) are able to find the right person through dating websites because the other person is not only willing to put the same amount of effort but also is looking for the same thing. When you really think about it, not everyone in their late teens is willing to spare time to talk to one another even if it’s a video call (if they don’t truly like that person).

Everything might seem amazing at the beginning but the more time pass, the more they will realise that they really need to work on their relationship whether it’s to find the time to talk to that person or spend quality time with them or even to hold a meaningful conversation with them. These things can be tiring to a lot of people especially those who are in their late teens. Communication is key in a relationship and most people in their late teens don’t really express their thoughts because they don’t know what they really want and most importantly not everyone is willing to embark on a serious relationship.

There are people who still want to explore and don’t really know if the other person is ‘the one’ that’s the reason why some couples break apart from each other after being together for years. It’s not about losing the spark in the relationship, it’s more about getting to know themselves better and what they truly want. When you start a relationship at a very young age, you definitely have no idea on what to expect and what you are embarking into.

Related: How To Know When You Are Ready For A Relationship.

 

THE LEVEL OF LOVE & AFFECTION

I don’t think your level of love and affection for a significant other is higher as you get older but you definitely understand the difference between love and infatuation. I obviously don’t want to put every teen in the same boat but most people who are in their late teens or even people in their twenties don’t realise the difference between love or lust/infatuation.

They think that those feelings are real love but it’s only once they start a relationship with that person that they realise they weren’t actually in love with that person. I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with that as long as you are honest with yourself and the other person. You can’t hide your real thoughts and give false hopes to the other person which is what happens when people start dating in high school or uni.

They soon realise that they aren’t really meant for each other, some couples break up without having any hard feelings whereas other couples get badly hurt. Most people in their twenties (at least from a female perspective) don’t have time to play any games that’s the reason why if some people spot any red flags – they don’t waste their time and simply leave. The same goes if they aren’t interested in the other person. You know they are doing you a favour by not wasting your time.

Related: The Difference Between Love & Infatuation

 

THE CONCLUSION

I definitely think that dating is different for each and every person. There are some people who started a relationship while they were in school and are still in a long term relationship whilst there are people who have had on & off relationships ever since they started dating in their twenties and still haven’t found the one yet. You definitely have much more options when it comes to dating as you get older whether it’s the access to online dating apps/websites, the freedom to meet & get to know new people, etc.

If I’m being completely honest, when you are in your late teens – you don’t really get to meet new people or a lot of people in general except people at your school/uni. And let me tell you, years later you will realise that you had nothing in common with those people. Most people that age aren’t ready for a relationship, they just like the idea of being in a relationship. If you are looking for a serious relationship then it will be extremely hard to find someone who has the same mindset as you at that age when it’s already hard for people who are in their twenties.

The main difference I would say is as people get older, they literally have way more responsibilities and commitments so you will know if someone truly wants to get to know you or are simply wasting your time based on a few interactions & meetings. In addition, they will be way more appreciative of your time and effort. When you are in your late teens, you have some time to have fun and enjoy life which you don’t really get to have when you are in your twenties unless you take a break from everything haha! I think at any age, being honest and open to one another is extremely important.

Whether you are simply looking to pass time or are looking for a serious relationship, let the other person know from the very beginning. At least, you will have sent across the message to the other person and you will know if the other person is looking for the same thing or not. At the end of the day, there is nothing like wasting your time and energy for something that wasn’t even worth it. It’s the worst feeling ever. It can literally change a person’s perspective of love and relationships so always take into consideration the other person’s mind & heart before starting anything.


Thank you so much for reading! – xo N

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  1. When we are you we do have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is, one can only hope to have those expectations put into perspective by their twenties but this is not a guarantee.
    This was a really nice thought provoking article

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