how to move past unkindness - new lune

How To Move Past Unkindness.

A lot of people are probably planning and wondering about their new year resolutions and goals of this year but I think this can also be a crucial time for a lot of people because when those resolutions and goals aren’t met or not likely to be met, you are prone to be unkind to yourself and needless to say, depending on certain situations, the opposite can happen where some people might transmit those negative feelings to others.

In today’s post, I wanted to share with you some ways on how to move past unkindness if you are ever in a situation where you feel you aren’t being treated kindly or if you ever find yourself to be in that situation when talking to yourself. As always, if you are interested – keep on reading!

Beaucoup de gens planifient et s’interrogent probablement sur leurs résolutions et objectifs du Nouvel An de cette année, mais je pense que cela peut aussi être un moment crucial pour beaucoup de gens, car lorsque ces résolutions et objectifs ne sont pas atteints ou ne le seront probablement pas , vous êtes enclin à être méchant avec vous-même et il va sans dire que, selon certaines situations, le contraire peut se produire lorsque certaines personnes pourraient transmettre ces sentiments négatifs à d’autres.

Dans le post d’aujourd’hui, je voulais partager avec vous quelques façons de dépasser la méchanceté si jamais vous vous trouvez dans une situation où vous sentez que vous n’êtes pas traité avec gentillesse ou si vous vous retrouvez dans cette situation lorsque vous vous parlez à vous même. Comme toujours, si vous êtes intéressé, continuez à lire !

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IT IS NOT A REPRESENTATION OF YOURSELF

Another person’s behaviour doesn’t represent yourself or of your values & beliefs. As I mentioned in the beginning of the post, some people tend to be unkind towards others because of their own issues and if it’s something that persists throughout the rest of the year then it’s an issue they have to deal with themselves and not you.

This can also be applied to yourself. That one moment of you being unkind to yourself isn’t an actual representation of who you are as a person nor does it represent your strengths & qualities. It was simply a moment of vulnerability where you let your negative voice overpower your voice of reason. However, you shouldn’t allow those weak thoughts determine or control yourself or your future.

Related: 3 Ways To Protect Yourself From Toxic People.

 

DISTANCE IS THE ANSWER

If that person treats you differently or in an unkind manner because of the time of the year or because of a certain (traumatic or negative) event then you have a reason for their behaviour but on the other hand if they are mean every time you meet them then distance is the only thing that can solve the problem. You shouldn’t let anyone treat you disrespectfully including the people who mean the world to you, as time goes on it will only worsen and create a toxic relationship which isn’t ideal.

On the other side, if you find yourself to be unkind towards yourself on a regular basis then it’s time to distance yourself from whatever that’s making you feel those types of emotions in the first place and fully indulge yourself in things that make you feel happy & relaxed. A break from your mind will not only help you feel at ease but it will also help you realise that those thoughts you had were groundless or inapplicable. Sometimes, we are our worst enemies and it’s important to remind ourselves that we are trying the best we can.

Related: 3 Ways To Create Healthy Boundaries.

 

LEARN & FORGET

I personally think it’s very important to learn why we put ourselves in such a situation in the first place whether it’s another person who treated you in an unkindly manner or you being extremely mean to yourself. It’s not only to prevent this situation happening again but it’s also to learn more about yourself and eventually grow & better yourself. You will either end up spotting some red flags easily and prevent yourself to be treated less than you deserve to be or you will either stop your mind from voicing those negative thoughts from the very start.

Related: How To Forget Your Worries For A Few Minutes


Thank you so much for reading! – xo N

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  1. Hi NL 🙂

    this topic will never get old. I write about similar issues time and again, too. I think it is in fact difficult to define “self” (vs. *everything else* — i.e. insofar as e.g. we need air to breathe … so is the air part of ourselves or not).

    I distinctly remember a psychologist who said to decades ago that it’s actually quite simple to keep these things separate … insofar as the border in between is our skin. Ah, so simple, so straightforward, … and so shallow! (IMHO).

    [ if you wanna read more about *my* ideas on such matters, see e.g. the homepage of my https://wants.blog ]

    🙂 Norbert

  2. I feel like I hit on a good path on New Year’s Goals and self-kindness. I use the word intention as a replacement for goal. Goal can be so all or nothing and leave lots of room for self-criticism if the goal is not “met” or “hit”. Thanks!

    1. That’s such a good point, I’ve been using the word intention a lot recently and it has made me view certain things a lot differently. Thank you so much for reading 😊

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