I truly believe that we are our own worst enemy. Yes, there might be people who let their insecurities & flaws have an impact on other people, and there are people who are truly evil. However, nothing can compare when you are your own enemy because you sabotage everything yourself before another person could even think about it. In today’s post, I wanted to share with you some ways on how to avoid self-sabotaging yourself.
At the end of the day, it’s so easy to say what another person should or shouldn’t do, but every person has their own personality, upbringing & circumstance. When it comes to your healing journey, it’s always best to do what works for you so I have tried to write this post as neutral as possible while at the same time mention the things that have effectively helped me. Without further ado, let’s jump into the post!
Je crois sincèrement que nous sommes notre pire ennemi. Certes, certaines personnes laissent leurs insécurités et leurs défauts influencer les autres, et d’autres sont véritablement maléfiques. Cependant, rien n’est comparable à être son propre ennemi, car on sabote tout soi-même avant même que quelqu’un n’y pense. Dans l’article d’aujourd’hui, je voulais partager avec vous quelques astuces pour éviter de s’auto-saboter.
Au final, il est si facile de dire à quelqu’un ce qu’il devrait ou ne devrait pas faire, mais chacun a sa propre personnalité, son éducation et son propre contexte. Pour votre cheminement vers la guérison, il est toujours préférable de faire ce qui fonctionne pour vous. J’ai donc essayé d’écrire cet article de la manière la plus neutre possible, tout en mentionnant les choses qui m’ont aidée. Sans plus attendre, passons à l’article !
You might also like:
- How To Feel Content & Not Late In Life.
- How To Not Let Negative Things Affect You
- Can You Truly Know Another Person?
HAVING A CLEAR IDEA OF BOUNDARIES & DISCOMFORT
It’s extremely important to know when your boundaries are being crossed or when you feel discomfort, it’s when you don’t acknowledge those emotions that it’s easier for others to sabotage you but also way easier for your own self to do it. We pretty much live in a time where hustle culture is very prominent, every single thing you do has to be productive otherwise it’s considered a waste of your precious time.
With that said, it’s so easy to do things that you know might not be the best just because you want to get ‘out of your comfort zone’. It’s so easy to allow other people’s opinions, which are subjective, to influence your own life. But the truth is you don’t have to force yourself to do anything that doesn’t make you comfortable. It’s important to be empathetic and compassionate but you don’t have to accommodate everyone & everything.
Related: 3 Ways To Create Healthy Boundaries.
UNDERSTANDING THE STATE OF DESPERATION
This might be subjective but I think it’s way easier to self-sabotage yourself when you desperately want to do something. If I’m being honest, I dislike the term ‘desperation’ because it’s not the nicest emotion to describe one’s self but there aren’t any other words that perfectly fit this state of emotion where everything seems heightened.
It’s very easy for others to take advantage of yourself in this situation as well because they can feel your emotions quite openly. However, it’s important not to make any rushed decision or action while you are feeling this way. Sometimes, things might end up working out whereas other times, the consequences might not be as obvious and only with time you will be able to see what those things truly are.
Related: Finding Light In The Darkness.
TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS
It can be difficult to trust your instincts when you are constantly on survival mode because everything can be triggering and anxiety-inducing, but your instincts will never fail you. Your body stores information that you haven’t even processed yet and it’s only when certain things are triggered that you will end up realising that your body kept tabs on them.
Your negative mind can be influenced by other people’s thoughts and your own insecurities but not your fight-or-flight response. If you feel that something is wrong then instead of brushing it off, try to ask yourself as to why you are feeling this way and you will be able to find the answer.
Related: 3 Ways to Feel Good About Yourself.
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
Connect with me on social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Pinterest | Bloglovin
New Lune 
💯🙏
💯 agree 👍 I collapse under the weight of my own expectations and I am finding im self sabotaging myself because I am feeling so disappointed with myself for not being able to do the things I wanted. But it’s a learning curve that is part of life. I no longer plan anything anymore, I found I got no where with planning and If you don’t have a plan you can accomplish some very interesting and alternative things. It’s like the proverb of how heavy is a glass of water and how long can you hold it for. The glass initially isn’t heavy at all and you can hold it easily without any issues. But after an hour it becomes more noticeable. After a day it’s starting to become painful in your arm and shoulder, after two, three, four days and more this pain is going to increase until you buckle under the weight of your own actions. The longer you hold on to something, the heavier it becomes. Sometimes we just need to let go and let the chips fall where they may, maybe in our quest for self-improvement, we are actually on a mission of self-destruction 🤔🤪👌
I’ve also learned not to plan every single thing anymore, especially when it comes to things I have a lot of expectations or the things where I put too much pressure on myself, and just go with the flow. I really resonate with the proverb you mentioned, as you said the longer you try to hold on to something, the heavier it becomes. It’s important to grow and better yourself as a person but it shouldn’t be at the cost of losing your existing self. Thank you so much for reading 😊
If you make a fist, and imagine that it represents you. If this fist is only 60% or something, you can’t possibly be able to give anything around it, more than 60%. So you need to be somewhat selfish and concentrate on your own well being and your own aptitude for life, and get this as close to 100% as you can, or at least get the feeling of being content. When you achieve this, you find everything else falls into place 👌
you are absolutely right, I firmly believe in the notion that you can’t give anything to anybody while neglecting yourself. It might be doable in the beginning but you will feel the impact of it as time passes.
If you can’t love yourself then you won’t be able to love anyone else. Your ‘fist’ will be gradually deteriorating and you will be subsequently struggling to continue to give the cynosure the same level of attention that you are giving to others as you are being drained by your own ego to be a people pleaser. You will drain yourself and you will become more of a hindrance than a help to others pursuing your intention of supporting your friends as you will be a shell of yourself and you will become the one who needs the support from your peers that you were attempting to help. Paradoxical, in the quest to help others, you become the one that requires the support from these people.
That is very true. There is a big part about feeding your own ego when it comes to people pleasing which people don’t often talk about. The majority of the times, there is selfishness in selflessness as well (but the intentions make a big difference in regards to that aspect). It goes beyond a point where you don’t do it solely for others but also for your own-self because you think you are doing something good for others, you subconsciously equate yourself to being a good person following their morals, values & beliefs—but pleasing others to the point of draining yourself doesn’t equate to that at all.
First post to pop up when I was indeed self sabotaging myself.
The universe works in mysterious ways haha, hope this post was helpful! Thank you so much for reading 😊
🩷🩷
❤️
Great post. Very timely 💯🙏
Thank you so much! ❤️