One of the most difficult things to grasp is when you realise you weren’t on a loved one’s priority list while they were on the top of yours. As we get older, we all realise that our priorities and commitments shift, and sometimes the people who get the most priority or even the order of priority change due to circumstances and responsibilities, which is completely normal and fair.
However, there are some instances where you might realise that you were someone’s second-best or not even the last priority, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. In today’s post, I wanted to explore the notion of being someone’s second priority per se but in actual reality you aren’t even on their list of priority. As always, if you’re interested—keep on reading!
L’une des choses les plus difficiles à accepter est de réaliser que vous ne figuriez pas parmi les priorités d’un être cher alors qu’il occupait la première place des vôtres. En vieillissant, nous comprenons tous que nos priorités et nos engagements évoluent ; il arrive que les personnes privilégiées — ou même l’ordre de nos priorités — changent au gré des circonstances et des responsabilités, ce qui est tout à fait normal et légitime.
Il arrive toutefois que l’on réalise n’être que le second choix de quelqu’un — voire ne pas figurer du tout dans ses priorités — et c’est ce dont je voulais vous parler. Dans l’article d’aujourd’hui, je souhaite explorer la notion d’être une « seconde priorité » alors qu’en réalité, on ne figure même pas sur la liste des priorités de la personne en question. Comme toujours, si le sujet vous intéresse, poursuivez votre lecture !
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THE CONFUSION
I personally think that realising you weren’t a priority to a loved one can first be extremely confusing, especially if you’ve poured a lot of affection, warmth, tenderness and care towards that person.
We all know that expecting to be on the top of a loved one’s priority list is impractical and unrealistic with the exception of a few people—but even with those few people life inevitably happens and we all know that there are times that other things might have to take the lead first.
However, realising that you were someone’s second-best or worse, an option when you never associated those terms with that person can not only blindside you but also make you question yourself and your relationship.
Related: 3 Ways to Regain Control When You Feel Lost
THE GRIEF
Ultimately, you end up mourning and grieving for this relationship regardless of the decision you make in order to move forward. It would be one thing to assume that all the mishaps were coincidental but to figure out that they were intentional can be heartbreaking—especially if you’ve always been the type of person to be a good friend but never the best friend, the loving sibling but not the favourite one, the caring child but not the cared one.
Related: Managing Your Guilt
THE FUTURE
Just because someone chose to treat you as a backup plan doesn’t mean that the most you could ever be is a backup and not a priority. In all honesty, even if you were to treat them the same way they had treated you, it wouldn’t hurt or pain them at all because you’ve always been a convenience to them and sadly, not a person to love and respect.
I’m a firm believer that you only get to live this life once and you have to make the most of it. It would be a waste of time to surround yourself with people who genuinely don’t care about you when you could be doing the opposite and enjoying life to the fullest.
Being by yourself and doing things which bring you joy, contentment and fulfilment will always be better than being with someone who makes you question whether or not your actions will amount to something worthy for them. There is no fear nor shame in being alone up until you find the right people in your life.
Related: The Regrets You Aren’t Able to Throw Away
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
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