If we didn’t work about being liked, what would we do differently? This is the question that made me ponder as to why we worry about being liked in the first place. Why do we have this internal crisis about being liked and that’s what I wanted to explore in today’s post. As always, if you’re interested – keep on reading!
Si nous ne nous souciions pas de plaire, que ferions-nous différemment ? C’est cette question qui m’a amenée à réfléchir aux raisons pour lesquelles nous cherchons à plaire. Pourquoi traversons-nous ce conflit intérieur à ce sujet ? C’est ce que j’ai voulu explorer dans l’article d’aujourd’hui. Comme toujours, si le sujet vous intéresse, poursuivez votre lecture !
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THE NEED OF BEING LIKED
I do believe it’s very much ingrained in our brains to worry about being liked by other people. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with you being a people pleaser, regardless of what you do and don’t do you want to be seen as a decent human being because not only it boosts your ego but it also allows you to move forward & ahead in life.
How many friends have you made due to your personality? How many times have you received compliments based on your character? How many opportunities and experiences have you gone through purely because of how easy and pleasant you are? Those are all results based on how likeable you are, what would happen if you removed that aspect?
Related: Why You Need to Look at the Bigger Picture When It Comes to Your Health
THE FEAR OF BEING DISLIKED
As much as there is worry ingrained in our brains about being liked, there is very much a fear ingrained in our brains of being disliked as well. I think this dates back to the prehistoric age and to the way we are still influenced by our fight-or-flight response or as to how we easily spot a sad or angry expression on an individual’s face in a crowd full of people.
When you are disliked, it creates a lack of security and safety within and around you—you don’t know what to expect anymore. You don’t have to do something morally wrong to be disliked or considered unlikable either, you could be disliked for the most mundane and insignificant reason or aspect, sometimes there isn’t even a reason at all.
Related: It’s Okay to Fear The Unknown
THE INDIFFERENCE OF BEING LIKED OR DISLIKED
It’s definitely difficult to stop worrying about being liked or/and disliked. There is a small part within ourselves which cares about the way we are perceived no matter what we do or say. Once you realise that there will always be people who dislike you regardless of what you do, it helps you understand that you can’t let these distractions influence the way you perceive yourself and live your life.
Worrying about being liked will only put too much pressure on yourself to live your life according to other people’s thoughts, emotions, opinions, standards and expectations—and you can never satisfy nor fulfil every single one of them. It’s practically impossible and unrealistic.
This isn’t about worrying nor overthinking about being liked or disliked, this is about being indifferent to what others think of you, no joy nor sadness. At the end of the day, emotions are fleeting and opinions are interchangeable, nothing is stagnant. The person who likes you today might dislike you tomorrow and vice versa, you can’t let the outside world dictate the way you live your life.
Related: The Truth About Being An Adult
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
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