It’s definitely difficult to stop being a people-pleaser all of a sudden, especially if it’s something you’ve been unconsciously doing for a very long time.
I do view it as a trap and if you get caught in it, it gets harder and harder to escape from but as with everything else in life—it’s not impossible.
In today’s post, I wanted to share with you 3 ways to prevent from falling into the people pleasing trap. Without further ado, let’s jump into the post!
Il est assurément difficile de cesser du jour au lendemain de vouloir plaire à tout le monde, surtout si c’est une habitude que vous avez adoptée inconsciemment depuis très longtemps.
Je considère cela comme un piège : une fois qu’on y est pris, il devient de plus en plus ardu de s’en extraire, mais — comme pour tout dans la vie — ce n’est pas impossible.
Dans l’article d’aujourd’hui, je tenais à partager avec vous trois façons d’éviter de tomber dans ce piège. Sans plus attendre, entrons dans le vif du sujet !
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LEARNING TO SAY NO
One of the reasons why people end up becoming people-pleasers in the first place is due to their inability of saying a single word, no. Obviously, this could happen due to a myriad of reasons. They might not want to hurt the other party, they don’t want to inconvenience them, they might fear of the other party’s reaction and the repercussions this situation could bring, etc.
However, nobody will stop being a people-pleaser unless they learn to prioritise themselves and be open about their wants & needs. Sometimes, it’s the not thing you say but the way you say it that matters. Try to frame your no as an answer as opposed to a refusal, don’t change your answer just because someone is pushing you and forcing you to change it, and don’t let anyone put you into a position where you have to think about pleasing them first.
Related: Learning To Stand Up For Yourself
NOT BEING AFRAID OF ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES
This point is the answer to many things in life and it is not an exception for this one. Establishing boundaries doesn’t equate to starting a confrontation, it just means that you are open and firm about your actions, words and limits. If you are able to do something, you won’t have nor would you need anybody to coerce you into doing it and vice versa.
It also allows you not to do anything that brings you discomfort. Your boundaries are there to protect you, not to inconvenience anyone and if a person takes it personal then it means they have served their purpose. Why would someone be irritated or discomforted by them?
Related: 3 Ways To Create Healthy Boundaries
BEING SELF-ASSURED
Unless you are self-assured, you will always tend to fall back into the people pleasing trap because if you aren’t confident about your character as a person then who will? A lot of people end up getting what they want not because they deserve it but because they know how to get it, and the more you are aware and confident as to who you are, the less power others have on you. It’s important to help, socialise and be present for others but it doesn’t come at the cost of your comfort, joy and peace every single time.
Related: The Worry of Being Liked
Thank you so much for reading! – xo N
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