3 things I would tell my teenage self - new lune

3 Things I Would Tell My Teenage Self

I truly believe people change constantly, some for the better and some for the worst. I’m definitely not the person I was a year ago, let alone the person I was a decade ago and I find that very interesting because in that moment, you don’t really see yourself changing. You go through experiences that teach you so many life lessons which allows you to learn and grow as a person. I always look back my time in high school or even middle school.

There are a number of things I wish I had done differently. I’ve already mentioned it on my blog a couple of times but I was bullied throughout my time in high school. I’m definitely not the person who misses high school or wishes to go back to that time lol! I would much rather forget those years even existed. Whenever I go through a bad time, I always think back my time in high school and I know nothing worse than that could happen that’s how much I hate that period in my life.

I still have some similarities with the person I was back then but I completely don’t relate to that person anymore. I know nobody gets the possibility to go back in time but if there was, I would tell 3 things to my teenage self. I know if somebody had told me these things back then, I would be in a complete different place now. Not that I regret where I am right now but I know, it would have changed the course of my life and I would probably be a complete different person than I am now.

Je crois vraiment que les gens changent constamment, certains pour le meilleur et d’autres pour le pire. Je ne suis certainement pas la personne que j’étais il y a un an, encore moins la personne que j’étais il y a dix ans et je trouve cela très intéressant car à ce moment-là, vous ne vous voyez pas vraiment changer. Vous traversez des expériences qui vous apprennent tant de leçons de vie qui vous permettent d’apprendre et de grandir en tant que personne. Je regarde toujours en arrière mon temps au lycée ou même au collège.

Il y a un certain nombre de choses que j’aurais aimé faire différemment. Je l’ai déjà mentionné sur mon blog à quelques reprises, mais j’ai été victime d’harcelement scolaire tout au long de mon temps au lycée. Je ne suis certainement pas la personne qui manque le lycée ou qui souhaite revenir à cette époque lol! Je préfère oublier que ces années ont même existé. Chaque fois que je traverse une mauvaise période, je repense toujours à mon temps au lycée et je ne sais rien de pire que cela pourrait arriver, c’est à quel point je déteste cette période de ma vie.

J’ai encore des similitudes avec la personne que j’étais à l’époque, mais je ne me rapporte plus complètement à cette personne. Je sais que personne n’a la possibilité de remonter le temps, mais s’il y en avait, je dirais 3 choses à mon adolescent. Je sais que si quelqu’un m’avait dit ces choses à l’époque, je serais dans un endroit complètement différent maintenant. Non pas que je regrette où je suis en ce moment, mais je sais, cela aurait changé le cours de ma vie et je serais probablement une personne complètement différente de celle que je suis maintenant.

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SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF

I’m pretty sure you might have guessed it since I mentioned about bullying but if there is one thing in my life that I regret the most is the fact I didn’t speak up for myself to those people. I was a really insecure person back then and I didn’t even have half the confidence I have today. I thought defending myself would incite them more or have bad repercussions.

Looking back, the only bad repercussion that happened was me hating myself and being completely broken inside. If you are in a similar position then please speak up. I cannot stress how important that is. Not only will it help you stand tall in front of these people but it will help you boost your confidence level. When you love yourself, you won’t allow anybody to knock on your confidence and self-esteem.

Je suis à peu près sûr que vous l’avez peut-être deviné depuis que j’ai mentionné l’harcelement scolaire, mais s’il y a une chose dans ma vie que je regrette le plus, c’est le fait que je n’ai pas parlé en mon nom à ces personnes. J’étais une personne vraiment peu sûre de moi à l’époque et je n’avais même pas la moitié de la confiance que j’ai aujourd’hui. Je pensais que me défendre les inciterait davantage ou aurait de mauvaises répercussions.

Avec le recul, la seule mauvaise répercussion qui s’est produite était que je me détestais et que j’étais complètement brisée à l’intérieur. Si vous êtes dans une situation similaire, veuillez parler. Je ne peux pas souligner à quel point c’est important. Non seulement cela vous aidera à vous tenir debout devant ces personnes, mais cela vous aidera à augmenter votre niveau de confiance. Lorsque vous vous aimez, vous ne permettrez à personne de toucher à votre confiance et à votre estime de soi.

Related: A Relaxing Night Time Routine | Dental Hygiene Edition

 

APPRECIATE YOUR OWN COMPANY

This might be a shock to some people since I always emphasise on the importance of self-love and me enjoying my own company which is the truth. But it wasn’t the case for the teenage me. I hated being by myself when I was in high school. Obviously, at home – it wasn’t a problem. But when I was at school, it was a complete different story. I felt embarrassed being alone and since I didn’t want to be bullied, I thought if I had “friends” and was on good terms with everyone in my class that I wouldn’t be bullied.

Boy, was I wrong. Whether you get bullied or not doesn’t have anything to do with you. You could be the most popular, intelligent, funny, confident and gorgeous person and someone might still choose to bully you. Remember that you are the one who is in control of everything and not them. You are the one who is allowing their behaviour, the moment you decide to fully accept yourself then nobody can’t say or do anything to hurt you.

Never feel afraid to be by yourself, if you don’t enjoy your own company then who will? There was a year in high school that I decided to be by myself instead of being with so called friends so I can’t say I didn’t fully follow this advice. Did I feel lonely? Actually no. I felt way lonelier when I was amongst those people. During the breaks, I would go to the library or do my assignments outside (it was actually a huge high school). Then I did end up having other friends the same year. I didn’t get bullied during the time I was by myself either.

Cela pourrait être un choc pour certaines personnes car je souligne toujours l’importance de s’aimer et de profiter de ma propre compagnie, ce qui est la vérité. Mais ce n’était pas le cas pour l’adolescent moi. Je détestais être seule quand j’étais au lycée. De toute évidence, à la maison, ce n’était pas un problème. Mais quand j’étais à l’école, c’était une histoire complètement différente. Je me sentais gêné d’être seul et comme je ne voulais pas être victime d’harcelent scolaire, je pensais que si j’avais des «ami(e)s» et que j’étais en bons termes avec tout le monde dans ma classe, je ne serais pas de problemes.

Que vous soyez victime d’intimidation ou non n’a rien à voir avec vous. Vous pourriez être la personne la plus populaire, la plus intelligente, drôle, confiante et magnifique et quelqu’un pourrait toujours choisir de vous intimider. N’oubliez pas que vous êtes celui qui contrôle tout et non eux. Vous êtes celui qui autorise leur comportement, au moment où vous décidez de vous accepter pleinement, personne ne peut rien dire ou faire quoi que ce soit qui puisse vous blesser.

N’ayez jamais peur d’être seul(e), si vous n’aimez pas votre propre compagnie, qui aimera? Il y a eu une année au lycée où j’ai décidé d’être seule au lieu d’être avec de soi-disant amis, donc je ne peux pas dire que je n’ai pas entièrement suivi ce conseil. Me suis-je senti seule? En fait non. Je me sentais beaucoup plus seule quand j’étais parmi ces gens. Pendant les pauses, j’allais à la bibliothèque ou je faisais mes devoirs à l’extérieur (c’était en fait un immense lycée). Ensuite, j’ai fini par avoir d’autres amis la même année. 

Related: 4 Things That Made Me Happy.

 

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

I guess another thing I regret the most was not living life to the fullest when I was a teen, I always had something (insignificant) in mind that I couldn’t enjoy anything. I wish I had been a bit more care-free and not serious about everything. Like everyone says, your time in school is probably the most happiest time in your life in the sense you don’t have any big responsibilities such as paying your rent, bills, etc.

You might think the things that are happening to you at the moment are important but trust me, time will heal and change everything. Do things that you enjoy, don’t overthink or over-worry about insignificant people/things no matter how significant they might seem to you at that moment. If someone makes you happy then spend more time with that person and don’t let them go. Don’t waste your precious time being with people who make you feel unhappy.

Je suppose qu’une autre chose que je regrette le plus était de ne pas vivre pleinement la vie quand j’étais adolescente, j’avais toujours quelque chose (insignifiant) en tête que je ne pouvais rien apprécier. J’aurais aimé être un peu plus insouciant et pas sérieux à propos de tout. Comme tout le monde le dit, votre temps à l’école est probablement le moment le plus heureux de votre vie dans le sens où vous n’avez pas de grandes responsabilités telles que payer votre loyer, vos factures, etc.

Vous pourriez penser que les choses qui vous arrivent en ce moment sont importantes, mais croyez-moi, le temps guérira et changera tout. Faites des choses que vous aimez, ne réfléchissez pas trop ou ne vous inquiétez pas trop des personnes / choses insignifiantes, aussi importantes qu’elles puissent vous sembler à ce moment-là. Si quelqu’un vous rend heureux, passez plus de temps avec cette personne et ne la laissez pas partir. Ne perdez pas votre temps précieux à côtoyer des gens qui vous rendent malheureux.

Related: 5 Things To be Grateful For During Tough Times

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

xo N

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  1. I really enjoyed this and can relate on some points about wishing I had spoken up for myself more, although in that moment it just wasn’t in me to do so. I’d tell my past self that things change and confidence does blossom like you hear it happening for others ✨. I’m sorry to hear that you were bullied, clearly they could see you were destined for great things and instead of making that happen for themselves as well they chose to try limit your path, they’re still back there and you’re way ahead 💕💕

  2. Enjoyed reading this! I hope you were able to heal the hurt from all you endured. I wish for you and whoever sees this to know you all matter and with our stories we can help change the world hopefully. Spread kindness and love no matter the obstacles in life or chaos it may bring!

  3. Thanks for sharing this. I’m so sorry to know that you were bullied. No one deserves to go through that, and it’s such a bold step to let others know and learn from your experience. Sending love your way.

  4. You said all the things I would have said to myself as a teenager. I could so relate with bullying and fake friends. I wish i enjoyed my own company more that would have solved half of my problems because right now —I love nothing more than a night in with my book, friends on telly and ice cream to keep me company.

  5. This is a wonderful post! I can relate to living life in the fullest. That is one thing that I regret to this day, there were things I could have done differently in my teenage years so that I lived life to the fullest!

    Thanks for sharing!

  6. These 3 things speak to a younger me as well! My aunt sent me some pictures from when I was 16 and it almost made me cry looking at them, not for a good reason. I’m the picture I saw a depressed little girl who was struggling with an eating disorder and lack of sleep… I had no friends or very few, I ate myself to sleep, I was bullied, etc and spent all my time just eating and crying

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that, it’s definitely the worst feeling and you feel like you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sending you lots of love babe ❤️

  7. I think people who like libraries can be more intellectual and introspective which can make them different. So this can unfairly make them targets of agreesive people. Sorry that happened to you. Anyhow all your trials and differences have likely imho made you the success you are today. Totally relate to your post!

    1. I can definitely relate to that, we often spend time fitting into a crowd that we forget to prioritise ourselves. As you said, you will only lose yourself in that process and not gain anything back.

      Thank you so much babe! ❤️

  8. I really loved reading your post. I have one quite similar planned in my drafts for ages now, it reminds me that I should go back to it lol. I truly never understood the whole “High-school is such a great time” thing, I definitely did not enjoy these years either. I am happy you managed to bounce back, you took your revenge on these years. 😘

  9. Great post! I really enjoyed reading this post, I absolutely agree that I am also nothing like the person I was 10 or even 20 years ago, there are times when I wish I could go back and be this version of me all those years ago because it would have been so much better and easier, but I’ve realised the hard times are what have help shape the person I am, without all the struggle I wouldn’t be who I am today, so would I change it? I don’t know 🤔 But I would for sure change some of the choice I made!

  10. Agree with these. I like to journal to my younger self at times. I figure if the journals maybe surface one day after I am long gone, the person reading them will be that age and have some wisdom to pull from. I also journal from my future self to me now as a way of reminding myself I am doing okay where I am when I consider where I’ve come from, which we can often forget on our quest for self-improvement.

    1. I started it back when I was feeling down about where I was. Steven Furtick shared a message about how we always want to look at where we aren’t instead of looking back to see how far we have truly come. We can see the distance between where we are now and where we want to be without much effort and for many of us it feels like a great divide, especially creatives. But when we turn for a moment and look backwards and see how we have grown and triumphed. It’s powerful. Even if you only do it once, I recommend it to all my friends and clients: at least one letter a year to younger self and one letter a year to you now from your future self talking about how far you’ve come. For me, I journal it about once a quarter to keep me on track. 🙂

  11. i agree with this. im finally to terms with myself after 39 years. I feel like younger women should learn these lessons early so that they don’t have to wait their entire life to start being their true selves

  12. Your point of being your own company really sit with me because I was afraid of that myself in my teenage years. I was always so uncomfortable with being alone that I tend to find things to distract myself. Thank you for sharing your story!

  13. I relate to all this. School was such a horrible time in my life and I think that’s partly why I suffer from social anxiety now. And yet I somehow have ended up working in a school!

    1. Haha same! I ended up working in a school too but I couldn’t handle the environment at all. It was like going back in high school all over again. Thank you so much for reading babe ❤️

  14. As a victim of bullying myself, I could totally relate to this post. This is so beautifully written I doubt I could have said it any better. I’m sorry to hear you were bullied though. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. ❤️🤗

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