how to maintain a long distance relationship - new lune

How To Maintain A Long Distance Relationship

{AD} I’ve been talking about long distance relationships on my blog the past month, my opinions and feelings about this subject since there might be a possibility for me to be in that situation. During that process, I read all your comments and found that so many of you were or are going to do long distance & were quite optimistic about it whilst others didn’t think it was the best situation.

Do I think it’s ideal? Absolutely not. Do I think it’s workable? Absolutely! As I’ve mentioned on those posts, I don’t think it’s impossible and it truly depends on each individuals and their situations. I don’t think I’m the best person to give advice about this subject since I’ve never been in a serious relationship and I’m not in a relationship yet but I really wanted to share the factors that I think are important in order to maintain a long distance relationship.

So many people are doing long distance for various reasons but most of them were able to establish a relationship in person first before living apart. But there are people who date and do long distance from the very beginning because they don’t reside in the same city, country or even continent so I wanted to touch base from both of these aspects as well. As always, I’m interested and excited to know your thoughts and opinions so without further a do – let’s jump into the post!

Related: Too Independent To Find Love?

 

COMPATIBILITY

I’ve already mentioned this but you need to be compatible with each other in order to have a successful relationship, it doesn’t matter if it’s long distance or a traditional one. In my opinion, being compatible is not really about having the same interests, values or morals which some people disagreed with me. They told me that the concept of compatibility is about having the same values and morals which I agree to a certain extent.

Personally to me, it’s about respecting each other morals and values and not judging or disrespecting them. So many people have the same morals but end up separating because they weren’t compatible with each other so where was the compatibility? I truly believe that if you both are open-minded, respectful and compassionate, that’s good compatibility in itself. I don’t think you both need to have the same personality, let alone the same hobbies in order to be compatible.

Obviously, you need to have some things in common but that’s not the essential nor the main part of compatibility. So many people are the polar opposites in terms of personality and values in life but make a great couple because they love and respect each other. If you can have deep and meaningful conversations then you don’t need other things to prove how compatible you are that’s why communication is extremely important. Especially in long distance relationships, you will truly know if you are compatible with the other individual, it’s even a great opportunity to find out.

Related: Dating & Relationships in the UK vs France

 

COMMUNICATION

how to maintain a long distance relationship - new lune - honesty - communication - dating - compatibility

What I mean by communication is not talking every single day for hours on the phone with each other because that can turn quite unhealthy after a while. Even if you both are in different parts of the world, you both need to have your own independence and freedom. When you start to become dependent with one another, you’ll soon realise that it’s not healthy.

Obviously at the beginning you will need to talk on a regular basis, especially if you haven’t met in person yet. Great communication is more about being open and honest with each other than spending hours on the phone without having any meaningful conversations. If you’ve decided to be in a relationship, you need to be able to talk about everything and anything with that person, that way you’ll truly realise if that person is meant for you.

Nowadays, with technologies you have so many options available! Take advantage of those options! Don’t only talk on the phone – use video calls and send messages. With each method, you’ll realise that person’s true personality if you are online dating using dating websites like Date Berkshire Singles, The Berkshire Dating Site or Mature Berkshire Dating. But if you’ve already established a relationship prior to doing long distance, you’ll be able to analyse their environment. You can see things that might not be obvious at first glance for example their facial expressions, their tone, their words, etc.

A long distance relationship or even a relationship that was formed without seeing one another requires a lot of time, effort and work. People are not really who they seem they are and some people do change. Having a place for open communication will allow the both of you to be able to express each other’s thoughts & feelings without any judgement. Misunderstandings and miscommunications happen quite a lot even when you see each other in person on a daily basis so when you are doing long distance, you have to make sure that the other person truly understands what you are saying and you are saying what you really mean.

Related: A Personal Chat About My Love Life

 

HONESTY

When you are in a relationship and don’t see each other, both people need that reassurance that you are both on the same page. If one doesn’t think it’s going to work out or feels unsure about the situation, you have to be honest about it. You cannot waste your time and another person’s precious time. I think it’s acceptable when you are young and in school/uni because you are still growing as a person but when you are an adult, you have to be honest with yourself about what you want and if you think this relationship is going to work out.

You don’t need to tell about every single thing that’s happening in your day and declaring your love 24/7 but you have to be honest about what you feel and think. You have to be upfront about your thoughts and feelings. You cannot hide what you are truly thinking or feeling because it will make the both of you feel miserable in the long run.

This obviously goes both ways, if only one person is trying to make the relationship work then it’s not really a relationship. Sometimes unfortunate things do happen and you can’t control how another person thinks or acts but at the same time it clearly means that person wasn’t meant for you. You can dwell on it but it’s obviously not the end of all. Some lucky people are able to find their special person the first time around but for others it might be the fourth or fifth time but at the end, you’ll be able to find the one for you.

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

xo N

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  1. Hi! Awesome post! I’m not in a relationship myself- never have been. But I do have to agree that having our own individuality and hobbies is a definite must for me in a potential relationship. I think it’s super important to take each other out of your comfort zone and like I said, to keep a certain sense of individuality, even if you are in a relationship.

  2. This is an excellent piece. I don’t really believe in long-distance relationships because I think it is difficult to maintain a romantic relationship with someone you do not see. A person needs to have a specific mind frame in order to maintain this type of relationship and I don’t think most people have that mind frame. However, if a person is sincere about what they want, and follow the things listed in your post, it is possible for it to work.

  3. I miss her, I do! That’s the hardest part about a long distance relationship. I’ve been having trouble at work and am struggling to get myself into a new direction, a more peaceful one. Sometimes it’s nice just knowing she’s there.

    1. I definitely agree with you, missing that person and not seeing them physically is obviously the hardest part but knowing they are there is kind of comforting as well.

  4. I’m in a long distance relationship and we’ll be together for 4 years in April! I know a lot of people have given up on LDRs, but it is definitely possible to make it work. ✨

    🌸 Marissa Belle 🌸

    1. I’m quite happy for you. It definitely takes a lot to make it work. Mutual compatibility, communication and honesty like the article says. I personally have frankly given up on LDRs it’s just never worked for me. Feelings change and we end up growing part due to time interval and distance… And also the inability to physically touch for months.

      How have you and your partner made it work so far?

    2. Presumably the goal is always to turn it into an in-person relationship, but that’ll take very different amounts of time for different scenarios, and so the challenge of making it worth must depend on that a lot.

  5. “I truly believe that if you both are open-minded, respectful and compassionate, that’s good compatibility in itself. I don’t think you both need to have the same personality, let alone the same hobbies in order to be compatible.”

    You nailed it there! It’s honestly difficult to find people with that core personality trait. But you’re right, that’s really all it takes, and a lot of loyalty.

    Sounds like you know what you’re doing! And yes, other people have made it work, so there’s no reason you can’t, and get to the point of being in-person if it turns out to be a good thing.

    “What I mean by communication is not talking every single day for hours on the phone with each other because that can turn quite unhealthy after a while”

    This is also incredibly prescient! I have made this mistake twice!

    Bonne chance! 💙

  6. Great article and very helpful points.I can really relate to this whereby i was a long distance(different country and continent) which was not very easy.But communication and trust,made it stronger and stronger…now married,living together, and with a beautiful baby girl!

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