do long distance relationships work - new lune - dating

Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

{AD} As I’m diving into the dating world right now, I’ve been asking a lot of questions to myself and one of them was about long distance relationships. Personally, I can see myself doing long distance and I think it would work for me. A number of my friends have had long distance relationships and ended up moving in together with their significant other a couple of years  down the line and some of them even got married so I don’t think it’s entirely impossible to do long distance.

However, a long distance relationship requires a lot more time and effort as opposed to a traditional relationship in sense of both parties living in the same city. I knew so many couples who lived very close to each other and felt like they were doing long distance because they didn’t see each other that often.

I definitely think it’s based on the two persons and their personalities, morals and values because there are so many things to take into consideration when you are dating someone who resides in another city or even in another country. In today’s post, I want to share with you some things to take into consideration if you are doing long distance or are dating someone who doesn’t live in the same city as you as well as an insight of how my dating life is going (lol).

Related: Expectations, Reality & Love

 

DATING SOMEONE LIVING THOUSAND MILES AWAY FROM YOU

Starting off with how my dating life is going since it’s related to the topic of this blog post. I know what you might be wondering how does long distance and my dating life relates to one another and the answer is people who are interested in starting a relationship with me (to say in a diplomatic way) usually live far away than me and I mean very far away..

I don’t know if it’s my luck or the universe trying to say something but in case if I do start a relationship with someone who resides in another city/town other than mine, I’m actually okay about the idea of doing long distance. To be completely honest, I really love the idea of having a long distance relationship because it gives you the opportunity to be independent and have your alone time while still having someone. You will literally both grow as a person and find out who you truly are in a way.

This teaches you to trust each other and makes the time you spend together more valuable. You literally get the best of both worlds. You are in a relationship but at the same time you are still the person who you used to be. I’m not saying that you can act “single” if the other person isn’t next to you, on the contrary this is a great opportunity to find out if the other person is the one. Plus, I’m not saying that you change when you get into a relationship but some people do change and start leaving their friends for someone they only met a couple of weeks ago.

In addition, if you feel attracted to other people or if you are questioning if that person is right for you, even though they are living thousand miles away from you then probably that person isn’t the one. I think that’s one of the reasons why some people are put off by the idea of doing long distance and think it won’t really work out. It can be hard to date someone when you see them on an everyday basis so not knowing what they are really thinking or doing and only seeing them through a screen might not be the ideal option nor situation.

If you don’t see yourself dating someone living farther away from you, check dating websites that are purely based on a city for example the Aberdeen Dating Site or the Date Aberdeen Singles website. Both of those websites are for people who are looking to build genuine relationship in Aberdeen. There is even a dating website for mature people such as Mature Aberdeen Dating, so you can definitely find dating websites specifically based on a city regardless of your age.

Related: A Personal Chat About My Love Life

 

THE 3 KEY ELEMENTS FOR A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

do long distance relationships work - new lune - dating - key elements

Correct me if I’m wrong but I think dating someone in another part of the world or doing long distance requires a lot more time and effort than a “normal” relationship. From the simplest to the most important things, you always have to put extra work. Although it might be difficult at the beginning, I think with time and eventually when you think about the future, things will get a tiny bit easier.

For any relationships, compatibility is so important. I don’t think it’s always about having the same interests or hobbies but more about being respectful to each other even if you both have different values or morals.

The same goes for communication. You have to be genuine about your feelings and thoughts. If you think something is not going to work out, be upfront about it. Honesty is another important element, if you are not honest about what you are saying; it can be hard to build trust and love.

I would rather someone hurt me with their truth than betray me with their lies. Obviously each relationship works differently and I’m yet to start one but I would love to know if you have done long distance and what would your tips or advice be about this subject.

Related: Too Independent To Find Love?

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

xo N

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45 Comments

  1. enjoyed reading your blog since it is similar to my interests and very relatable . Interesting views and I liked how you brought out the positive aspect of long distance relationships, because often I’ve encountered men who say, no way i don’t do long distance. In my little experience they’re negative about it straight away and I am not so negative, given all the aspects you’ve covered. I especially like the independence and the building of trust.

    1. Thank you love! ❤️ There are obviously mixed feelings surrounding this topic but I personally wouldn’t mind. If you are with the right person, distance won’t make a difference x

  2. A good read – filled with aspects (individual’s personal traits) which apply to relationships close in distance, too. I believe any partnership long-term is based on trust and honesty. 🙂

  3. My boyfriend of 5 years just got a job in another country so he’s moving away in a few months. I know things will be different but I’m still very positive about our future. I agree with you and I believe that trust is key in situations like this, I’m also looking forward to good communication and getting to spend more valuable time with other. Thank you for this post, I kind of needed it

  4. My girlfriends and I were just talking about this same subject last night. I haven’t been in a long distance relationship but I am starting to consider it. They are as well. Love that you wrote about this… it seems it came in at the perfect time!

  5. The distance becomes irrelevant when there’s true love. It’s quite possible to travel the world & the seven seas if one has found the true love. The practicality dissolves when you’re high on love.

  6. Thanks for the post! The opportunity recently came to me. I guess I’m still stumped on what to do. My love is such a precious thing to me and difficult at times what people’s intentions are. I don’t want games.

    Trust, absolutely. I see this as an ultimate test of trust. In our world, there have been countless couples who have built love with correspondence. Sometimes it works, or not. It seems like it would make sense to set up some goals. It seems as if there should be consensus on how the relationship wants to develop to be taken to the next level or let go, instead of an incomplete and open ended situation. This seems fair for both people.

    Clean communication might be missing. There are certain things that are overlooked by not having a physical presence. Touch is one of the most basic and beautiful gestures, and not talking about sex. To walk into a room and see that a person needs a touch to a hand or shoulder can only happen with a physical presence.

    A person can say so much with just a glance. “I missed you,” “How can I help,” “I love you.” There is non verbal beauty and inspiration that can occur beyond what can be written. A pause. A breath. A smile. “Are you ready?”

    Just some thoughts! 🙂

    I wish you the best with your journey and am moving into a better space, partly from your article.

  7. I like the fact that you highlighted the importance of compatibility, communication and honesty.

    If I can find these in who I know is right for me, then the distance won’t be a barrier. It’s all about the right one.

    I feel you!

  8. These are all so so true. I’m potentially going to end up in a long term relationship as I will be moving to a different city to university in September. It’s so refreshing to read how great it can be and that it is worth your time and effort. I like the idea of being independent whilst still having a significant other, I want to learn to be truly independent and to enjoy my own company much more. I will definitely be sitting down with my boyfriend before I move to talk about honesty and communication and compatibility so that we’re on the same page. Thank you so much for sharing this, a great post!
    Alex xx
    https://alexandriakaywrites.wordpress.com/

  9. Long distance is tough, but not impossible.
    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 7 of our 10.5 years.. it definitely requires a lot of trust, but it also forces you to make the most of and cherish the time you have together. You realise quicker when you’re taking things for granted.
    Thanks for writing about this topic 🙂

  10. Oh my God! This is so relatable! I’m currently in a long-distance relationship and I admit that it’s really hard but challenging. We have different in so many ways; religion, culture, timezone and country. But we’re doing our best to work things out. Thanks for sharing this! 🙂

  11. I’m wondering how compatibility can be important even if you have different values and morals. Isn’t different values the ultimate definition of incompatibility? From my experience differing worldview and values are the primary killer of relationships, and definitely something that needs to be explored on one of those exciting first dates. Something to think about.

    1. You are right but if you both respect each other’s values and morals, that’s compatibility in my opinion. You can have different views and morals in life but the most important part for compatibility is respect. Respecting your partner’s values is the same as having the same values as your partner. As long as you are understanding and respectful towards each other’s morals, I think you are pretty compatible.

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