As you probably already know, I’m single. I’ve never been in a serious relationship in my entire life and I’ve never felt embarrassed or weird about it because it is what it is. I don’t know if it’s because I’m approaching my mid-twenties or the fact that I’m not really looking for a relationship right now but people around me are obsessed with the idea of matchmaking me.
I’m pretty sure whether you are a man or woman but after a point in your life, your loved ones want you to be with someone. They love the idea that after each stage of your life, the next one is about finding love and then marriage. In all honesty, I am not against that idea. Love is literally one of the most beautiful things in the entire world whether that be a feeling, emotion or even a thought process.
In today’s post, I wanted to share with you the questions that most people around me ask me frequently (literally a lot.), an insight into my love life and questions that I’ve asked myself which I really want to share the answers with you. This might help people who are in the same situation as me and we might even help each other out hahah! Or even if you are simply looking on dating or starting a romantic relationship then I’d highly recommend to check out this post!
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DO YOU FEEL LONELY?
No & Yes? I’ve never felt lonely in my entire life. Being an only child, you are used to being alone and you find ways to entertain yourself. In addition, I’ve always loved my me-time. I prefer being alone than being with a group of people. However, after I’ve moved out, there were times that I felt lonely. But I quickly realised that it was just my insecurities playing because of other people pressuring me and talking non-stop about finding the ‘right’ man as soon as possible.
If you surround yourself with a good support system then there is no need to feel lonely. Plus, if you are happy with yourself then why would you feel lonely in the first place? I would rather be happy while being alone than feel lonely while being with someone.
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DO YOU REGRET NOT DATING AT SCHOOL/UNI?
Absolutely not! Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Although the reason why I didn’t date at first was purely because there wasn’t anyone to date (lol) but after I went to college/uni, it was purely by choice.
Films & TV shows really make it seem like you will find the love of your life at school/uni which I’m not saying you won’t but the probability is very low. Your time at school/uni is one of the most defining moments in your life, it will pretty much create your career path, your morals & values as well as be a huge factor to the course of your life
A relationship requires a lot of time, effort and energy but most importantly a lot of communication and understanding. To expect all of those things when you are still growing up is just a lot in my opinion.
Obviously, you see a lot of successful love stories on social media & Youtube but trust me, there’s a lot that goes on behind closed doors. I’ve seen a lot of people who feel unhappy in those relationships because they have completely changed as a person and I’ve seen some who end up getting divorced or separated after years of being together.
In my opinion, you can be in a healthy & loving relationship while at school/uni but it completely depends on the person you are choosing to be with. Most people are very immature so my advice would be to date wisely, but as always it’s only my opinion – you know what to do best in your life.
DO YOU ENJOY BEING SINGLE?
YES! I love it! I’m pretty sure if you are with the right person, you’ll feel the same amount of freedom as you were when you were single but I love the fact that I get to enjoy & live my life freely. I get to focus on my personal goals, plans, dreams and passion. As you already know, when you are in a relationship you have to spend all your time and energy into it. There will be so many ups and downs as well as great & bad times.
As time pass, you’ll gain a lot more responsibilities as well. You will definitely have to share and face as a couple each other’s problems & issues which means a lot of work. Right now, I’m enjoying taking care of myself and loving myself.
It’s not to say that you can’t enjoy being in a relationship. When you are single, you only have to deal with your own issues but when you are with someone, you take on their issues as well.
IS IT HARD BEING SINGLE?
Not really. From the beginning, people around me knew that I wanted a serious relationship and not a fling or something casual (which there isn’t anything wrong about it if both parties feel the same way) so it really facilitated things for me. People wouldn’t approach me because they knew my intentions from the get-go.
However, after I went to uni – it was the complete opposite. I would say even if some guys didn’t know what the outcome will be out of that relationship, they weren’t put off by the idea of pursuing a serious relationship if that makes any sense. Plus, when you encounter boys who don’t take no for an answer, it can be tough.
To be completely honest, I find it really hard to be single now. I’m open to dating which isn’t the problem but people around me are definitely playing matchmakers so I find that annoying to say the least hahah. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I’m not in a hurry to start a relationship or be with someone, while at the same time I know if I’m meant to be with someone, nobody can stop that.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON?
I find it silly when people question how you are going to find someone because it’s much easier now than the way it used to a couple of years ago. You have so many dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, etc. and even free dating site like We Love Dates which offers the best opportunities in finding love online based on your situation for instance depending on your ethnicity, religion, age, etc.
You can literally find the love of your life while being at home! Obviously, you have the good old opportunities like meeting someone when going to work, bars, or even when running errands. Plus, if you have friends and family members who love to play matchmakers then you definitely don’t have to worry.
WILL YOU EVER FIND SOMEONE?
I think the most taunting question I ask myself is if I will ever find someone. I tell myself it’s completely okay to feel this way because of the fact that I have never been in a relationship and people around me have literally been in a relationship at least twice or thrice & been on many dates.
But there is a voice inside your head that likes to spread negative thoughts and I sometimes find it hard to shut it up. I keep telling myself that it’s not in my hands. If I’m meant to be with someone then he will definitely find a way to be with me. In addition, I’m very adamant about the fact that I don’t want to waste my time nor somebody else’s time so that really helps me to put things into perspective.
If you’ve read up until now then I truly appreciate it! I know from personal experiences that when you are desperate, you tend to make bad decisions and I don’t want that to happen when it comes to finding someone. I’m pretty sure there are so many people like me who are single and not caring about their relationship status so I’m just here to tell you to live your life. Nobody should be defined by their relationship status nor the choices they make.
Always remember that you can be sad & lonely while being in a relationship. Just because you see two persons together, it doesn’t mean that they are in love with each other. What you see is only a fraction of their times together, you never know what happens behind closed doors. Never settle for less and make sure to focus on yourself whether you are single or in a relationship ❤
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!
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