how to deal with insults and criticism - new lune

How To Deal With Insults & Criticism

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post on how to deal with haters in real life. Not everyone who you will encounter in your life will love you and treat you with kindness. I don’t want to normalise the fact that someone criticising or insulting you is a part of growing up or getting out of your comfort zone because it’s not. I think a lot of times people use that as an excuse to belittle and disrespect another person.

There is no valid reason for treating someone that way. Dealing with criticism and insults is something nobody enjoys, yet is an inevitable part of our existence. There will be people who will like you and people who won’t. That’s the reason why in today’s post, I wanted to share with you on how to deal with insults & criticism if you ever have to go through those situations.

Il y a quelques mois, j’ai écrit un article sur la façon de gérer les ennemis dans la vraie vie. Tous ceux que vous rencontrerez dans votre vie ne vous aimeront pas et ne vous traiteront pas avec gentillesse. Je ne veux pas normaliser le fait que quelqu’un qui vous critique ou vous insulte fait partie du fait de grandir ou de sortir de votre zone de confort parce que ce n’est pas le cas. Je pense que souvent les gens utilisent cela comme excuse pour rabaisser et manquer de respect à une autre personne.

Il n’y a aucune raison valable de traiter quelqu’un de cette façon. Faire face aux critiques et aux insultes est quelque chose que personne n’apprécie, mais c’est pourtant une partie inévitable de notre existence. Il y aura des gens qui vous aimeront et des gens qui ne vous aimeront pas. C’est la raison pour laquelle, dans le post d’aujourd’hui, je voulais partager avec vous comment gérer les insultes et les critiques si jamais vous deviez traverser ces situations.

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YOU CAN’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS & OPINIONS

As I mentioned previously, there will be people who will like you and people who don’t regardless of your personality and actions. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be perfectly likeable by everybody. You don’t have to worry about explaining yourself to others, not disappoint others, be funny or interesting enough, etc.

When you live your life that way, it doesn’t serve your own happiness. You are just living to please another person. You have to understand that you will never be liked by everybody and that is completely ok! As long as you like yourself and know that you aren’t doing anything to hurt another person, you are good.

Comme je l’ai mentionné précédemment, il y aura des gens qui vous aimeront et des gens qui ne vous aimeront pas, quelle que soit votre personnalité et vos actions. Ne vous mettez pas autant de pression pour être parfaitement sympathique par tout le monde. Vous n’avez pas à vous soucier de vous expliquer aux autres, de ne pas décevoir les autres, d’être assez drôle ou intéressant, etc.

Lorsque vous vivez votre vie de cette façon, cela ne sert pas votre propre bonheur. Vous vivez juste pour plaire à une autre personne. Vous devez comprendre que vous ne serez jamais aimé de tout le monde et c’est tout à fait normal ! Tant que vous vous aimez et que vous savez que vous ne faites rien pour blesser une autre personne, vous êtes bon.

Related: 4 Ways To Stop Overthinking.

 

PRACTICE KINDNESS FOR YOURSELF

I’m definitely not going to say that you have to be kind to the ones that disrespect you because in my opinion, that doesn’t really make any sense at all. However, when somebody criticises or insults you – check if it’s something you can find some value in or if it’s merely aimed at hurting you or expressing their own life’s frustrations at you.

Whatever the case is, practice kindness especially for yourself. It’s not easy to let your own personal feelings go and forgive those people but by distancing yourself from those people and not listening to their opinions, you are doing yourself a favour. You don’t have to fight fire with fire and you don’t have to lower yourself to such low-value speech.

Je ne vais certainement pas dire que vous devez être gentil avec ceux qui vous manquent de respect parce qu’à mon avis, cela n’a aucun sens du tout. Cependant, lorsque quelqu’un vous critique ou vous insulte, vérifiez si c’est quelque chose dans lequel vous pouvez trouver une certaine valeur ou si cela vise simplement à vous blesser ou à exprimer les frustrations de leur propre vie à votre égard.

Quel que soit le cas, pratiquez la gentillesse surtout pour vous-même. Il n’est pas facile de laisser aller ses sentiments personnels et de pardonner à ces personnes, mais en vous distanciant de ces personnes et en n’écoutant pas leurs opinions, vous vous rendez service. Vous n’avez pas à combattre le feu par le feu et vous n’avez pas à vous abaisser à un discours de si faible valeur.

Related: 5 Simple Acts Of Kindness To Brighten Up A Day.

 

YOU KNOW YOURSELF BETTER THAN ANYONE

Last but not least, your opinions about yourself and your actions matter the most than anyone’s thoughts & opinions. Don’t let other people’s thoughts change the way you view yourself. I know there is constructive criticism which is there to help you better yourself but when somebody is insulting and degrading yourself, that’s definitely not acceptable and it’s not considered as valuable criticism either.

You know yourself better than anyone, don’t let yourself think that you need to accept or deserve this behaviour because you don’t. Always remember that someone can disagree with you or have a different opinion on certain matters, but it’s the way that they say it that makes the difference. It’s not what you say but it’s the way you say it. As long as you convey your message in a respectful manner, you don’t have to worry about anything.

Enfin et surtout, vos opinions sur vous-même et vos actions comptent plus que les pensées et opinions de quiconque. Ne laissez pas les pensées des autres changer la façon dont vous vous voyez. Je sais qu’il existe des critiques constructives qui sont là pour vous aider à vous améliorer, mais quand quelqu’un vous insulte et vous dégrade, ce n’est certainement pas acceptable et ce n’est pas non plus considéré comme une critique valable.

Vous vous connaissez mieux que quiconque, ne vous laissez pas penser que vous devez accepter ou mériter ce comportement parce que ce n’est pas le cas. Rappelez-vous toujours que quelqu’un peut être en désaccord avec vous ou avoir une opinion différente sur certaines questions, mais c’est la façon dont il le dit qui fait la différence. Ce n’est pas ce que vous dites mais c’est la façon dont vous le dites. Tant que vous faites passer votre message de manière respectueuse, vous n’avez à vous soucier de rien.

Related: How To Be Truly Happy In Life.


Thank you so much for reading! – xo N

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  1. Thank you for sharing this. I still had to experience and deal with this today. And even though I know it’s not right to be talked down to, I have let this person go on because it is a working relationship, and the individual is largely older than me. Our relationship has improved overtime but I still feel I ought to express my displeasure with past hurtful and disrespectful remarks, and ask that such situations do not play out again. Still I find it hard to do this. Maybe fear, maybe anxiety.

    1. My pleasure hun! I’m so sorry you had to go through that, I completely understand your situation. It’s definitely much harder when it involves your work or is set around your professional life. I’m glad to hear that the relationship has improved but always remember that you are much more than the words that they say ❤️

  2. I think being aware is perspective is also important. What I mean is: there are somethings that I can get quite upset about myself. Keeping this in mind when someone else is upset about something helps me to keep a cool head and patiently ask questions, in order to (hopefully) better understand where someone else is coming from. Also: some things are complicated, and therefore perhaps difficult to explain succinctly in simple terms. All in all, this reminds me of that old adage (to “choose your battles”). Some things are important enough to get into arguments over, but arguing with one person over something particular may be more of a waste of time + energy than what might be really “worth it”. Excellent post about a *VERY* worthwhile topic! 😀

  3. Thank you so much!

    Earlier today, I was literally criticized by two typical rude teenagers behind my back. They are laughing so loud like an idiot saying that I look like a weirdo because I am wearing a black knee length short, a gray casual shirt, and holding an umbrella. They made me wanted to rip someone’s throat. But I composed myself and ignore them. HAHA! Because why would I talk to someone who looks uneducated? They might not have the capability to understand anyway.

    1. You’re so welcome! I’m so sorry to hear that, what’s wrong with some people?! As you said, it’s those typical rude teenagers so there is literally no point arguing or talking back to them, it will only be a waste of time. They are projecting their own problems & insecurities onto others and in a way, they want attention which is quite sad. I hope you had a lovely day despite that incident, have a fab weekend
      ❤️

  4. This is a timely piece. Too often in today’s society we sit around and just accept the behaviors of others as just the way they are and that is not always the case. You are correct you cannot control how other act and treat you , but what you can do is determine and set boundaries on the relationship you will have with that person. We cannot be afraid to set these boundaries because it directly affects us. Some not all, when they see the boundaries will realize and change.

    1. I couldn’t have said it better! Whether they realise and change it or not is not the problem but we definitely have to set boundaries in order to protect ourselves otherwise we would be the ones being affected by them. Thank you so much for reading ❤️

  5. There is a difference between the random insults we may get from rude strangers and the criticism we might get from people we know. Based on the relationship, we can take criticism and learn from it. Or we realize that we don’t have the bandwidth for that kind of person in our lives and set boundaries. Random insults from strangers are hard, but since they don’t know us, it says more about them than us, and we can walk away secure in who we are. So we are learning more about ourselves in every situation. Even the ones that are super hard. Love what you said💕

  6. I’m so happy I found this post of yours! When I saw it in the “Reader” section, the title really caught me as I know that it would ADD light — there’s a person harassing me every day, and every time I tweet something, she’d always reply to it with criticisms and harsh remarks. I tried to block the account she’s using but she kept on making dummy accounts and pursued harassing me. Until now, even if I always set my tweets to another setting, wherein only the people I follow could reply, she managed to do something – She’s quote RTing my tweets insult me with her captions. I never answered her replies, but she kept on doing it… I know I didn’t do anything bad to anyone, I don’t have enemies, as far as I can remember. And so every day, if I see that my tweet has been Retweeted, I already know it’s her, so I won’t open it, nor check if who that was.

    Your post made me feel good because I’m a very soft person, that even if I am not letting her words get through me, it still makes me feel bad sometimes, knowing that someone’s doing that to me, every day.

    1. I’m so so sorry that you had/have to go through that, nobody deserves that. Always remember that their words is a reflection of themselves and not yours. I know it’s easier said than done but try to ignore it. At the end of the day, they want attention and sadly, they are choosing the wrong path to get that attention they desperately crave for.

  7. Great work ! I can totally relate with it as I’ve had quite a few experiences earlier where criticism was eating me up but nevertheless I’m good now , hope you’re doing great.

  8. Lovely post thank you for sharing something I tell my 8 year old daughter daily if someone makes you feel bad about who you are they don’t deserve to be a part of your life and you need to let them go…..I hope by instilling in her this simple words when she is this young she carries it all through her life🌼💛

  9. I feel like this advice on criticism is important to everyone trying something new, including a blogger. When revisiting criticism about say, my blog, I can apply this type of stuff. Also, I like the French translations, il est très utile.

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