It didn’t feel right to start a new year or should I say a new decade without looking back at all the ups and downs. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they aren’t the person they were when they started this decade but for me, it doesn’t really seem that way. In terms of appearance, I definitely don’t look like the way I used to 10 years ago and I completely look different (in a good way).
However, I’m still that girl who is super sensitive and yet know how to protect her mind & soul now. I still give my 110% when I set my mind on something but I don’t care about the results anymore as long as I gave my best. To a certain extent, I’m still that person but in some aspects I am not. I started this decade in my teens and I’m ending it in my twenties.
Related: 10 Goals To Set In Life
When the decade started, I was in high school and to be completely honest I didn’t enjoy my time there at all. I would say this year was bittersweet, I met so many kind people who I will cherish forever in my heart whilst on the other hand, I came across two-faced people. I was definitely very young & naive and spent so much of my time to please people who didn’t even care or love me. But this year was so special to me because I didn’t let them get the best of me which I’m really proud of.
This was the year I was taught a valuable life lesson. I learnt that I would rather be alone than be with people who make me feel alone. My entire life, I was so scared to be alone and I would always cling to people who didn’t love me for who I was and never cared about my feelings – just because I didn’t want to be lonely. I realised that being lonely was far better than feeling lonely.
When I thought nothing could be worse, 2011 happened. The toughest year of my life, or at least I thought it was up until last year. If there is a year that I would gladly forget, it would be this year. I developed so many insecurities that I didn’t even have in the first place. There wasn’t a year that went by where I wasn’t bullied but this year was literally the worst.
Going through bullying is not easy and I don’t think people realise the long-term effects it can have on others. I still have scars that won’t probably fade away for the rest of my life. I always say that regret is a strong word, I’ve never done or said something that made me regret but if there is one thing that till this day haunts me is the fact that I didn’t stand up for myself.
Although being bullied isn’t technically an insecurity, I should have faced and accepted it. I shouldn’t have left them control my life. You could say as a consequence or repercussion, I decided that I didn’t have anything left for me anymore in my country and to move abroad. It wasn’t an easy decision but I wanted a change.
Although the initial stage of moving was very stressful with lots of sleepless nights, tears and anxiety – 2012 was the best year for me. I was surrounded with nice people, I felt loved and I was truly happy. This was the year I decided that I wanted to prove my worth and test my full potential in a way. I’ve always given my 100% but since this year I decided to put my 110% to everything I set my mind into.
I really wanted others to know how appreciative I was of their kind words and compliments. Also, you could say I dedicated my entire time on my education since my personal life was in shambles. It was a great method to distract myself from irrelevant things/people.
I would say 2013 was a year of realisation. I learnt so many life lessons and realised the responsibilities I had. Appearances can be deceiving and it’s not something you realise nor learn until you are put in that situation where you meet someone who is not the person he/she is portraying to be.
As a result, that entire year I only felt confusion and a mixed of emotions. I’ve had trust issues my entire life but since 2013, it was made even stronger and I don’t think I will fully trust someone in my life anymore.
I don’t have anything special or memorable to say about 2014 unless the fact I was even more emotional and a mess throughout this year. But there is one thing that I’m really proud of and that is because this is the year I created my blog and started blogging! Can you believe if I said that I was meant to start blogging the year before but it took me an entire year to figure out what I was going to name my website hahah!
Just because I didn’t have a name for my blog, I ended up creating the website a year later. Obviously this is so silly but creating a website and having my own platform was and is a huge deal to me. I really wanted every single aspect to be perfect but as you know, there is no such things as perfect and it’s something I’ve learnt along the way. If you’ve done your best, it’s as close to perfection in my opinion.
I would consider 2015 to be quite an eventful year. I’m not going to lie, I hate this year for multiple reasons but I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I found my true values and morals in life which doesn’t mean that I didn’t have them before but I learned some lessons for the future.
Putting myself in the first place does not mean that I’m selfish or that I don’t care about others. It simply means that if someone or something doesn’t make me feel comfortable or happy, I don’t have a reason to stay in that position.
So many great things around my education happened in 2016 and it’s only something that I’ve realised just now when looking back at this decade. Till to this day, I’m so grateful for my professors both in the UK and France who always encouraged me and literally showered me with tons of compliments.
Unless you’ve had a “bad” lecturer or professor, you never truly know how much of an impact a professor can have on your life. There are some things that go beyond your education and career path. You really grow as a person and find out who you truly are when you are at school/uni.
This was pretty much a life changing year. A number of decisions were made this year for instance, I decided that I wanted to take my blog more seriously in the sense of growing my traffic and publishing more blog posts consistently. In addition, I also got the opportunity to work as a freelance translator.
I’ve had a severe panic attack this year as well which wasn’t pretty at all. As always, if I don’t learn a life lesson – that year hasn’t ended yet hahah! But seriously, I’ve learnt that home wasn’t a place, town or country but a person. It doesn’t matter where you go or reside, if you are not with your loved ones – you will never feel like you are at home.
Looking back, I would say I didn’t really take advantage of 2018. Let alone achieving a goal or dream of mine but I definitely regret not living fully in the moment and just enjoying my life without thinking about anything. Every month was just filled with pure anxiety & stress when I could have just tried to live my life without giving importance to toxic people. If there is a lesson I learned that year, it was to cherish my loved ones and to enjoy the present.
2019 has been a pivotal year in my life, it literally changed the entire course of my life in such a positive way. Last year started as any other year which is definitely not a great start but it was something I was already familiar with and I wasn’t surprised. However, deep down in my mind I knew last year would have an impact but I didn’t know how strong will it be.
Half of the year was literally the worst time of my life, funnily enough pretty similar to how the decade started but a thousand times worse. I thought there was no way I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and I literally gave up.
The second half of the year was the complete opposite, everything turned upside down. Till this day, it still feels like a dream where I’m ready to wake up at any minute now. There are obviously times where I’m very stressed out, scared and anxious but I’m so thankful that I got another chance at life and I promised myself that I would prove myself worth this opportunity.
The start of a new year is always challenging for various reasons but this year since it’s a new decade, a lot of people have been putting a lot of pressure to make it a great start which is obviously not bad. But for many people who struggle to live their day-to-day life, it can be stressful. Many people talk about their achievements and growth which they absolutely should be proud of but everyone has gone through difficult times as well. Don’t overthink or over-worry about anything, a new year means new opportunities. I really hope this decade will be good to all of us, here’s to 2020 ❤
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!