10 things that had an impact on my happiness - new lune

10 Things That Had An Impact On My Happiness

When something is going wrong and you feel like you’re in a very bad place in your life, it’s really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there and I think we’ve all been there, I’ve gathered 10 ways to be happier which are the things I usually do to bring back my positive motto when I feel like my energy has drained.

Also, I’ve included the factors why I’m usually in a bad mood. As always, reading or watching these types of posts won’t do anything, it’s all in your mind and heart. I just want to share my knowledge on this aspect and hopefully it will help at least one of you.

Related: How to live stress free

 

COMPARING TO OTHERS

I think we’ve all heard everyone say “don’t compare yourself to others, we’re all unique and beautiful in our own way” but it doesn’t change the fact that once in awhile you catch yourself comparing to others and instantly feel bad about yourself.

In this day and age, it’s very easy to fall into this unrealistic trap where everything seems perfect and everyone’s living the best life but in real life, it’s not that way. We all have struggles, insecurities, flaws, problems and issues. Some of us are better at hiding than others, most of the times people don’t understand how blessed and lucky they are and people whom you’re comparing with wish they could reverse their roles with you.

You’ve to realise what you see on the outside isn’t what’s happening on the inside, what you see on social media or on special occasions/family gatherings are only the highlights of people’s best moments.

When it comes to looks, style and personality, everyone is amazing in their own way. The world would be so boring if we all looked and acted the same way! Each person you walk past daily are all different and beautiful in their own way, take a look at everyone and you’ll see how unique and beautiful everyone is.

In life, everyone goes through at a different pace and you don’t need to compete with others because life isn’t a competition. There isn’t a winner nor a loser, we all have different goals and plans in life. Although you may think that others are achieving and moving forward with their life, you’re achieving something and going forward with your life as well.

 

NOT TAKING CARE OF MY BODY

I always had a healthy lifestyle when I was in France but once I had moved to the UK, everything changed drastically which is completely normal because moving to a different country at a young age isn’t easy and it has a huge impact on yourself.

I was at a very bad place in my life so to escape that I started eating huge portions of meals, I stopped exercising and I’d rarely ever go outside to get fresh air, obviously I gained a lot of weight within a couple of weeks and I went from a size 8 to a size 12.

I never realised how much weight I gained even when my clothes didn’t fit me, it never clicked me. But once I started to get back into my routine (which wasn’t easy at all), I started to be more myself and I was in a much better mood.

All I’m saying is having a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to do with loosing or gaining weight nor eating junk or healthy foods. Once you start to take care of your body and change your diet, it does have an impact on your happiness!

You can’t change anything overnight, it’s all about taking one step at a time. You don’t have to stop eating chocolates or anything sweet, it’s all about finding a balance and knowing how to control yourself. Trust me when I say when you eat good, you feel good!

 

NOT BEING THANKFUL

This is something I’ve been doing for over 2 years now, whenever something good happens to me whether it’s something small or huge I’d immediately write it down on my phone in my notes section. So whenever I look at that list, it’s a reminder for me to be thankful and grateful for all the things I’ve and that happened to me.

When something positive happens to you, it’s very easy to put it in the back of your mind whereas when something negative happens, that’s all your mind thinks about. We always give importance to negative things rather than the positive ones so by writing this list, I know I’m not getting sidetracked by any negative thoughts.

 

NOT BEING HAPPY

I don’t believe in second life that’s the reason why I firmly believe we should make the most out of the life we’ve been given. Me, you and everyone on this planet shouldn’t live to please others! Falling into peer-pressure and doing something that makes you doubt about yourself are only going to make you unhappy and put you on edge.

There’s a huge difference between getting out of your comfort zone and doing something that makes you uncomfortable, most of the times people do the latter option and think they’re getting out of their comfort zone when in fact they’re doing things that don’t make them happy and they don’t feel good at all when doing it.

Being happy is a choice when you do things that make you happy, you instantly feel happy so follow your passion and do things that full fill your heart!

 

BEING IN A NEGATIVE ENVIRONMENT

It’s really important to surround yourself with positive minded people because that’s the environment you’re going to be in. I’ve learnt this from past friendships and relationships that had gone wrong, when you’re around people that make you feel crap about yourself, belittle you and only have you in their lives for their personal motives and gains – they can’t bring any positive energy to your life!

You’ll only be left with negative energy such as hatred, anger, sadness and literally you’ll feel your energy drain because those types of people feed your energy to make themselves feel better – and you don’t need those types of people in your life!

When someone loves you, they’ll be kind & respectful and more importantly they’ll understand you. Those are the people that you’ll want to keep for a lifetime.

 

STRESSING TOO MUCH

Whenever something stressful happens to you or you feel like you can’t do something, ask yourself these questions:

Will this matter in a few weeks or months? Is it the worst thing you’ve gone through?

If what you’re going through won’t matter in a couple of weeks then why should it matter right now? Thinking about the most stressful time in your life will put everything into perspective, if you were able to go through those times then you most probably will go through this as well!

 

NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF

Taking care of yourself is a must if you want to feel happy. It’s not always about looking presentable and put together but looking after yourself.

Pamper yourself, relax and do things that make you happy. It doesn’t matter how busy you’re on an everyday basis, take time to yourself and do your favourite things whether it’s watching a TV show, reading a book or even spending quality with your loved ones.

 

NOT FORGETTING

We can all agree there are things in our lives that will always be running in the back of our minds. They’ll creep you and make you feel all sort of things which aren’t good for either your soul and mind.

The only way to remove those negative energies is by learning to forget and move on. I find that forgiving is a huge step because in all honesty, it’s really hard for me to forgive and forget someone who has done cruel things to me. It takes real strength and maturity in order to forgive a person who has done bad things to you.

There are certain things you can’t let go because they can be unforgivable but think about the positive aspect of it. You learnt valuable life lessons from those experiences and you won’t make those same mistakes again.

 

GIVING IMPORTANCE TO HATERS

Most people think the term “haters” refer to strangers online who don’t have anything else to do apart from judging and criticising your every move but the truth is, it’s doesn’t necessarily mean online people, you might have haters in your real life as well.

Whether it’s the ones who are supposed to be your family/friends or people in your work/school environment. You’ll face people who will judge every decision you make and will scrutinise every step you take. Those people might want you to do good but nothing better than them. Their only goal is to pin you down!

The most important thing you’ve to remember is the way they act doesn’t have anything to do with you! You could do the kindest thing in the world and there will still be people who will find something negative or wrong to say about it. The only thing I can say is to let go of these people and not give a damn about what they say!

 

NOT HAVING A POSITIVE MIND

This one was the most difficult one because having a positive mindset doesn’t happen overnight or in a click. As I said from the beginning, it’s something that happens within yourself and not by reading books or watching videos.

Seeing the good in everything that happens to you whether it’s something good or bad, saying good morning, smiling at a random person, spreading positive vibes will attract positive vibes in your life. But most importantly, those little things you implement in your life will make you feel good about yourself and make you happy.

 

*NOTE*

I’ve been thinking about writing a blog post about my life in the UK as a french girl young woman which will include more lifestyle & psychological elements in terms of relationships, friendships, people’s personality, more like a blog post based around people (obviously I can include any other things you want me to talk about).

I want to compare both France and the UK in those elements + things people don’t really talk about so if any of you are thinking about moving to study or to settle abroad then you’d know what to expect especially young people. I wish I’d known all these things before because it would have helped me so much, so let me know in the comments if you’re interested or have any questions you want me to answer!

PS. La raison pour laquelle je n’ai pas écrit ce post en français parce que c’était déjà trop long et je ne voulais pas que mon post soit encore plus long. J’espère que vous comprendrez! 

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

xo N

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92 Comments

  1. Que dire? C’est un très bel article. Je corrigerai une chose, ne crois pas que cela aide plus les jeunes… Ca aide toute personne qui se trouve dans une philosophie de reconstruction après en avoir vraiment bavé. Certains auront eu des soucis de cœur et verront ça comme la fin du monde, certains autres des soucis d’adaptation, des soucis d’argent etc. Mais d’autres encore auront réellement eu des soucis de santé et tellement plus qu’ils devront faire face à une reconstruction entière et lire ton article leur fait du bien car cela rappelle des petites choses à faire qui aident vraiment et qu’on a pu oublier ou auxquelles on a pas pensé.
    Alors merci pour cet article. Peut-être aura tu compris mais même si ce n’est pas le cas, Merci à toi 🙂

    1. Aww merci beaucoup pour tes gentils mots! Cela signifie beaucoup pour moi 😭 tu as complètement raison, je n’ai pas pensé à cet aspect. Merci d’avoir pris le temps d’écrire ceci, je l’apprécie vraiment 💗

    1. Thank you Neema! Exactly, being grateful isn’t something that happens overnight, it takes a lot of experiences and life lessons to be grateful even when things aren’t going well x

    1. It’s so hard to forget certain things isn’t it! I wish we had a ‘delete’ button so we could erase all our unwanted memories x

  2. Thanks for sharing such a personal part of your thinking with us. We all have times when we are looking down instead of up. It has been said that the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and the first thing you think about when you wake up can have a profound influence on you. Try thinking very positive thoughts of gratefulness at each of these times of your day for 21 days. That is how long it takes to change a habit. Happy thoughts and wishes for you..

  3. This post is such a good reminder that we control our own happiness. I’m in Costa Rica right now and the tour company royally messed up most of the schedule and accomodations and I caught myself giving up and just sulking about it. Then I had to ask myself why am I making it worse? So I said screw the rest of the tour and went surfing by myself and actually had a lot of fun. Not entirely the same but I think our attitude factors into everything we do.

    1. Ohh no but I’m so glad you had a lot of fun by yourself! On top of that you went surfing, I mean that’s everyone’s dream! You go girl 🙌🏼 When you go on holidays, something has to mess up otherwise your holiday won’t be complete 🤦🏻‍♀️ Have an amazing time in Costa Rica 💗

  4. Oh wow, this almost made my cry. Like right now in this very moment, I feel so down from pressure on myself, exams and having to change school in August. So reading this post helped quite a lot, because sometimes I feel all alone in this hole of sadness but like you’ve written I’m really not. Thank you so much for making me smile today! <333 xxxxxxxxxx

    1. My pleasure lovely! Comments like this make my day 💗 Don’t worry, I’ve been there and as cheesy as it sounds, it will get better I promise! I had such a bad experience in high school + middle school (literally everything you can imagine) but still here I’m! If you ever need to talk about something, I’m here x

  5. So true!! Really loved the post.. 👍Yes being with positive people have a great impact on our life!! thanks for sharing.. Much love to you ♥️

  6. This post came at the perfect time, at the end of a school year there is so much stress but you can not forget about yourself. I’d love to see a post similar to this but school edition, maybe how you handled stress, toxic relationships and ANNOYING people. Loved this post x

    1. Thank you 💗 omg I could write a book all about it, that’s my entire high school experience lol! I’ll definitely write a blog post about it x

  7. I really need to read this things. I knew that everything you mentioned in your post could have an impact on our happiness but these time I was confused by so many things. And I forgot to take care of myself & get rid of negative feelings. Thank you to remind me this. It is a great article. Thank you again. XoXo.

  8. “I don’t believe in second life that’s the reason why I firmly believe we should make the most out of the life we’ve been given.”- Touché. Enjoyed reading your post. Beautifully written. 🙂

  9. Beautifully written. It’s funny I think I’ll remember to keep these in mind when I’m stressed but I usually don’t which I am working on. Regardless, this list is a great reminder for me. Thank you for this post ❤

  10. Such a great post definitely gives me lots of things to think about. I get so focused sometimes I forget to take time for me and because of that I tend to get stressed though I don’t always realise I am. I think it partly because I need to learn patience and to take a step back every now and then for some relax time.

  11. Very good post. I especially liked not taking care of myself, you would think at my age I would understand the importance of doing this and giving importance to haters. That definately brings on stress, especially when you’re writing a post and someone, maybe even someone in your own family or inner circle has something really negative to say about it.

    1. Thank you! That’s one of the reasons why no one in my real life knows I’ve a blog, you never know how they’re going to react and it might have an effect on your relationship with them. My advice is not to worry about other people’s opinions, at the end of the day it’s your life and you shouldn’t live to please others x

  12. This post is such food for thought! I agree with every point and overall strongly agree that the mind and heart is so important no matter what path you take in life. You can make any path work for you but you have to make it work. I wouldn’t say I have ever had a bad fall-out or friendship break-up but certainly I have let go of some friends but it’s okay, I have no bad feelings towards them. Sometimes, people change and are not who you thought they were so we just gotta move on.

    I would love for you to compare both France and UK! Would be really interesting to know some of the similarities and differences! 🙂

    1. Thank you love! I completely agree with you, sometimes people change and they’re not who you thought they were (I was telling this same exact sentence to my friends a couple of days ago, so crazy!). I’ll definitely do a blog post about it 💗

    1. Post constantly, use your social media platforms and interact with other blogs. I’m planning on doing an in-depth blog post about it very soon.

  13. Such a helpful post, I struggle so much with comparing myself to others and whenever I feel frustrated about a situation, I do ask my self if this will matter in a week or a month- and it actually really helps! Also, would love to see more blogposts about your life in UK! Great post! xx

  14. For me it’s all about managing my own expectations because that has a huge impact on my stress levels!

  15. I love this post, it’s really uplifted my spirit. I’ve been dealing with comparison for many years, constantly feeling down about not being successful enough and feeling like things aren’t happening at the same pace as it is for others. I’m finally learning that there is no competition and to trust my own personal journey xx

  16. Forgiving those that have hurt us can make huge leaps in attaining happiness. At Matthew 18:21 Peter asks, “Lord, how many times is my brother to sin against me and am I to forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him: “I say to you, not up to seven times, but up to 77 times.” Forgiveness is not only tied to God forgiving our sins but also relieves us of unnecessary stress allows us to move on. You made great points in this post.

  17. I can relate to everything on your list, especially when it comes to how much comparing myself to others and taking care of my body can impact my happiness! It’s a challenge but I believe that as long as we check in with ourselves, and do our best (and that may vary on any given day), it is never too late to get back on track.

    Also, I think it’s great that you want to write about your experience of moving to the UK to study abroad. I moved to the UK from Central America 7 years ago when I didn’t know a soul here, and it was very challenging and scary. Even though I overcame those challenges, it would have been great to have advice from someone who had gone through it themselves. Thanks for sharing 🙂

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