how to find the balance between inspiration and insecurity on social media - new lune

How To Find The Balance Between Inspiration & Insecurity On Social Media

This is a topic I wanted to talk for the longest time now, to be very precise for over two months now. The reason why I remember it so well is because this post has been sitting in my draft for that long. I find social media to be a great tool whether it’s about the fact you get to connect with your family & friends easily or the fact it opens up so many new opportunities and ventures. I don’t think it’s something that would have happened two or three decades ago.

I don’t think people would have imagined creating a career, let alone being able to support themselves financially solely with the help of social media. However, there are some cons as well and I wanted to discuss about one of those cons specifically in today’s post. I use social media because of my blog otherwise I would have never used them to be completely honest with you. I don’t feel the need to connect with my friends through social media.

That’s the reason why I deleted and stopped using my ‘personal’ social media accounts. Then I solely used my blog related social media platforms which I’ve been using them for 6 years now. I never used them on a regular basis at the beginning, now for the past two/three years, I would say I am a lot more consistent than I used to be when I first started. During the years I’ve used social media, I’ve felt a mix of emotions. I’ve been inspired, motivated and felt connected to so many people.

But at the same time, I’ve felt insecure, negative and self-conscious about myself. I asked myself why I felt those emotions because at the end of the day, I was only seeing a couple of pictures and highlights of somebody’s life so when you really think about it, it doesn’t make any sense. But by diving more into myself, I’ve been able to find answers and avoid those negative emotions and that’s what I wanted to share with you. As you already know, I love sharing my thoughts & opinions with you so grab a snack and keep on reading!

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FOLLOWING THE RIGHT PEOPLE

I personally think social media only gets negative when you don’t follow the right people and by “right people”, I don’t refer to people who are constantly positive on their page or follow a certain lifestyle. I’m talking about people/content that you genuinely love watching, find it inspiring and motivating.

I find that for some people as long as the content or people are relatable to a certain extent, they find it motivating and inspiring. It’s only when the part about relatability changes that it gets a bit tricky. For some people, it doesn’t really have an impact but to some – it does.

Some people take it the positive way and it helps them visualise their dreams and goals. To others, it may seem like something that’s completely unrealistic to their lifestyle and far from being obtainable thus create negative thoughts & emotions. That’s why it’s very important to follow people/accounts that you love.

Related: How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

 

AVOIDING ACCOUNTS THAT AREN’T RELATABLE

The previous point was more about materialistic objects and lifestyle but this point is about people and their personality. I don’t think following accounts that showcase luxury items aren’t relatable if it’s something you truly enjoy watching and visualising in the future. As long as you are not developing an unhealthy obsession, it’s completely okay haha!

What I’m talking about is the person behind the account. Some people have such a warm & sweet personality that even if your life and their life are polar opposite, you are able to relate to them to a certain aspect. But unfortunately, with some people that’s not the same case. When someone put emphasis with something you are already struggling, trust me no matter how good their pictures is – it’s time to unfollow or mute that account.

It won’t do any good for your mental health. For instance, stretch marks are completely normal and I can’t believe I even have to say this but there is nothing unattractive about them. But obviously, with social media and everything – people make it seem like nobody has stretch marks at all. Note that some people genetically don’t have them which is an exception.

But the majority of the people have them. If one of the people you follow starts to talk about how embarrassed they are of their stretch marks and that they are going to do laser treatments to remove them, you don’t automatically think they have the money and resources to go for that option. You automatically think how embarrassing your stretch marks are which unconsciously might trigger you to develop an insecurity that didn’t exist in the first place.

Obviously, this is just one example out of hundreds. There are many people who consciously or unconsciously send the wrong message to their audience. Always remember that relatability is more than a lifestyle, it’s about someone’s personality and opinions too. If you don’t resonate with what they are saying or don’t agree with what they are saying, simply mute them.

Related: 3 Things That Keep Me Motivated As A Blogger.

 

FINDING THE BALANCE

I guess what I’m trying to say is an account doesn’t have to make you feel positive but if it makes you feel negative towards yourself then it’s time to unfollow or mute the account in question. This is something I’ve done and helped me a lot when it comes to my mental health. When I started to compare myself to someone whom I’ve never met before that’s when it hit me that I started to develop something unhealthy.

Nowadays, social media is about showing your best moments, materialistic things, the goals and dreams you’ve achieved which there is nothing wrong about it. But most of the time, people forget what goes on behind the scenes. You only see their highs, you don’t know their lows. You don’t know what they are struggling with. They might show something to hide another thing.

Social media is just an illusion. In addition, as I mentioned above unfollowing or muting accounts that don’t resonate with you is extremely important. Like in any relationships or friendships, if after a point you realise there is nothing in common in terms of thoughts, personality and opinions – don’t feel bad unfollowing or muting them. Especially if it affects your mental health.

Related: How To Stop Caring About Numbers As A Blogger

 

I hope I wasn’t rambling a lot haha! This was something that was on my mind for the longest time but didn’t know how to convey what I truly wanted to say. Distancing yourself from negative people whether it’s online or offline is a must if you want to live a stress free life. Something that gave me a reality check is when I asked myself if I would do or buy certain things if I hadn’t seen them on social media.

I even contemplated on buying or doing certain things because that’s what “others” had or did which sounds so stupid and silly. If you decide to do or buy something, it should be because it makes you feel fulfilled and not because that’s what everybody else does. I literally can go on and on about the negative things on social media. I have so many things to talk about but this post would be way too long for that lol.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts about this subject. Do you ever feel insecure when browsing through social media? Do you think social media makes you feel negative? How do you find the balance between inspiration and insecurity? Let me know in the comments below!

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

xo N

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  1. Whoaah! I love this! I am new to this platform and it’s like yes, it’s like creating my new me, expressing myself freely, and having the right people around me. I’d love to emphasize your line “social media gets negative when you don’t follow the right people”. I used to unfollow or even block people who causes me anxieties. Setting boundaries is a must. I know, it’s still way to go for me and glad that I came across this article. Thanks!

  2. I decided to limit my use of social media–Facebook, Instagram, Twitter– because I find it too toxic for me. I’m currently reading more about digital minimalism to be more responsible in using social media and protect my mental health from all the toxic content these days. This is such a great read. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Nice post. I just started a social media detox by unfollowing accounts I don’t relate to or just makes me feel insecure and following positive accounts and it has really helped.

  4. This post really resonates with me. About 1 year ago, I decided to clean up my social media..my IG page and FB account, I unfollowed and for some muted both posts and stories on IG. I now follow alot of motivational and happier accounts that I love to see…like Humans of NYC or dodo which has alot of animal rescue stories so when I go on my IG and FB..i smile rather than get upset. Great post 🙏

  5. We often forget that social media is just a tool and not a aim .consequently we are often lured to generate money out of it as our main business. To few successes to many disappointments.

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